Kick the Whirlwind

God in a Hurry

2010-10-20T15:24:00.000-05:00

We've all heard that certain evangelical strain of pathos: "Thousands are dying without Christ every second" or "Let's finish preaching the gospel in one generation so that the end may finally come!" Yeah, as if I needed to put any more pressure on myself. I have been reading J.B. Phillips' book Your God Is Too Small for the last few days. The book was written in 1952 but aptly categorizes the many false gods or images of God that many "modern" people hold. I do not know the punchline of the book yet - the pithy ending where Phillips tells me how I might open up my view of God to be larger - but his descriptions of the small gods people serve (or avoid) have unmasked several points of small-mindedness within my own view of God.

The most poignant example for me has been Phillips description of the "God in a Hurry" conception of God. When I am being particularly hard on myself (and when am I not), I end up feeling something like a trusty little red wagon that God has piled all his hopes and dreams up in for the Kingdom. Yes, to an extent, "Christ in me the hope of glory," is the equivalent of having all of the glory, honor, and miraculous potential of God's cherished Son in my wagon, but I so easily mistake my "light load" for something heavy.

I have been in a hurry for most of my evangelical Christian experience. Eagerly I read my Bible, go to Church, do good things, and try to shine my bright light for others to see so that I may somehow graduate to the next level of spiritual maturity. I want to do miracles. I want to see people changed and freed and loved. I want to see the kingdom of this world crumble in the face of a powerful Kingdom of God restoring order to all creation. Yet I forget, as Phillips writes, the "quietness of Christ."

When Jesus was hanging in Bethany across the Jordan teaching and healing, his good friend Lazarus passed away. As God incarnate, he probably knew Lazarus was dying, but the messenger did not probably reach Jesus until Lazarus had already falled into eternal sleep. Even so, Jesus still waiting another day to depart to the other Bethany. His disciples were worried he would be killed by outraged Jews in the city of Bethany where Lazarus had lived. Anyway, Jesus finished what he was doing (purposefully) in Bethany across the Jordan before bravely returning to the home of his friend. We know how the story turns out. Jesus shows death to the door and welcomes Lazarus back to the living.

It's easy to see Jesus as some kind of Greek hero going here and there, escaping death, feeding thousands, healing hundreds (or more), and making friends with the lowly. It's easy for me to think that as a "little Christ," I should be here and there, escaping death, feeding thousands, and healing the sick, and befriending the lowliest. I have been told to do that my whole life. Now. Quickly. It's urgent. Don't stop. Don't look back.

Not surprisingly, I am no match for my conceptions of "God in a Hurry" and my visions of "Kid Christmas in a Hurry."

I want to re-aquaint myself with the purposeful kind of God who puts me where He needs me when He needs me there. I also want to believe in a God that will patiently wait for me to not only hear His voice but obey His voice instead of frantically following my own plans.

This is the theme of my time in FrXc0, CO. Slow Down. Stop being so hard on yourself. God is not in a hurry. So I should not be either.

To quote from a recent favorite song:

Why must I negotiate
Why must I think You hold my fate dangling from a string that's worn and frayed
I used to think, it was all mapped out
While I stayed the course, You rethought the route
When lost for good, I tried to sort it out alone

But now You're here
Oh what love I've found
You found me, my days rewound
I need Your love more than I need to understand
If I could I would fall backwards...
I think I'm falling backwards

fin

My First Blog

2010-09-13T16:07:00.000-05:00

So, however long ago when I started this blog, I imagined I would fill it with the interesting details of my soon to be ever-so-adventerous life. I planned to be in China touring and teaching English, savoring the culture and learning to share my faith as easy as breathing in and out.

I still live in Colorado. I just got married. Sharing my faith is a challenge. And China is really far off. Honestly, it's still a bit shocking. But strangely ok.

Kicking the Whirlwind for me has meant letting go of all the plans I had made for myself, plans which I thought were god-given but were actually me-driven. For me, being accomplished meant being a missionary and teaching people about Jesus. Now, I'm not sure what it means to be accomplished, but I have bravely tried many new things in the last few years:

1. Taking a scholarship opportunity in S. California at a Bible College for one year
2. Grant writing and non-profit fundraising
3. Working for a home inspector and helping to grow his business
4. Redefining my idea of Church and the Body of Christ
5. Meeting, loving, and marrying the best gift God has ever given me - my husband Chris

I've only been married for nine days, but there is a great sense of adventure in joining myself to Chris because God has combined our likes and passions in such a way as to make for a much bigger whirlwind. Somewhere in Ecclesiastes 4 the verses say something like: "Two are better than one, for if one falls down, the other can help him up. Likewise, if one is cold, two can keep warm together. Two can also fight off their enemy. Finally, a chord of three strands is not easily broken."

Chris and I will kick our whirlwind together. We want to bravely seek out the Lord's plans, even if that means giving up a great deal of security to wander nomadically together in search of the place God has for us.

Well, there you have it - my first blog as a married woman.

wrtign bleh

2010-03-02T18:21:00.000-06:00

I am forming a theory...that I don't want to grant write anymore because I have been forcing myself to write so many pieces that I don't care about for the last 14 years. School has done this to me. I hate writing assignments that do not mean anything to me. Bleh. Can I be burnt out? Can I be finished for a while.

Perhaps after a time passes, I will want to pick up the pen again.

Truth is, I won't stop writing. I just don't want to write about topics and for purposes that mean nothing to me.

Irony? I had to write to say this.

Economics of the heart...

2009-06-10T16:31:00.000-05:00

Does change inevitably mean a low tide of emotions? I woke up and discovered suddenly that I had made a life here in the Fort. I am pestered by my attachment to people and places.

I was in a hurry to decide and go, but now I find I will be carrying many things with me...even missings and rebuttles that will never now have a chance to be argued.

Opportunity cost is something my twelfth grade Economics teacher taught me. How did I know then that Economics of the heart would bring the lesson home?

"So they pulled their boats up on the shore..."

2009-05-25T19:32:00.000-05:00

When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus' knees and said, "Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!" For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon's partners.
Then Jesus said to Simon, "Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men." So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him. (Luke5: 8-11)

The pastor had spoken about Jesus calling Peter from a livelihood of catching fish to a life of catching people. He emphasized that the remarkable portion of the passage was not simply that Peter's impression of Jesus as a wise Rabbi caused him to cast out to sea after an already long and fruitless night spent fishing. The remarkable part wasn't even that Peter and Jesus caught so many fish. Nor was it that Peter profoundly realized ("Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!") that Jesus was someone more than a wise Rabbi. No. The crashing epicenter of this story was the probable history from which Jesus redeemed Peter instantly.

He expounded further that Peter was probably in his early twenties when this exchange between he and Jesus took place, which means he had been out of Hebrew school since he was Bar-mitzvah'd at the age of twelve. Only the few, the proud, and the ingenious were chosen to continue past Hebrew school into a selective process that would eventually yield one or two young people to be the follower of a Rabbi. Peter, who had already spent years in a worthwhile trade was not exactly the type to be a Rabbi follower. Yet right then, Jesus picked Peter out, set him apart, and called him to be his follower, telling him, "From now on you will catch people."

I listened to that sermon closely and sensed a timely message hidden for me in the pastor's words. I thought, "I want so very badly to be a catcher of people," and then I heard it all so clearly in my heart.

"Noelle, put down your net. After all, you are a catcher of people."

Isn't it funny how much influence pastors have? Later that same Sunday, I ruminated more about the sermon and remembered something another pastor once told me. "Noelle, if they stick you in some corner and expect you to write for eight hours a day, you won't be happy. That would be the worst thing for you."

No cruel person intentionally stuck me in a corner and commanded me to write for the last seven months. I have been working for a wonderful company that is a key participant in bringing God's Kingdom to earth in the darkest parts of our world. I serve under leaders who have victoriously walked through the lowest of valleys over the last year, spending their every ounce of strength fighting to keep the ministry financially stable so that our English teachers can continue living as salt and light in Asia. However, as much as I personally am passionate about evangelism and discipleship in Asia, as much as I have the skill to write fundraising documents, and as much as I love new adventures, this first adventure into the working world has revealed a great deal about who God has created me to be.

I love people. I love the Church. I love the spirit-led influence pastors have on their flocks.

On Monday, May 18, 2009, I turned in my formal letter of resignation from my position of Advancement Grant Writer. After much prayer and seeking the Lord and the wise counsel of others around me, I have decided to return to Grand Junction in order to be closer to my core spiritual community, my family, my boyfriend...and hopefully to pursuing more closely my call. This is not as much of a total change of direction as much as it is a redirection to a more specific goal. What would this adventure have been worth unless it allowed God to refine me and the call He has for me?

The Lord has graciously already opened several opportunities for meaningful work, a possible living situation, and a chance to actively serve my local church body (yay!). Please pray that the Lord would clearly open the door to my next job. Ask that I would finish well at my current job. If you live in Grand Junction, start looking for me around the beginning of July! I am energized by the new possibilities.

Leaving Fort Collins will be bittersweet in many ways. I have met some wonderful people (hopefully you know who you are) with whom I hope to continue friendships long after I have returned to Grand Junction. I am grateful that someone took a chance by hiring a young kid to write fundraising proposals asking for millions of dollars from people she may never meet. I hope to continue maturing the skills I have in grant writing so that more of the world's money can be transferred into the Kingdom while taking a more active ministry role in my local community.

Fort Collins was a wonderful place to be, but my roots are not here...my roots are on a different shoreline and in a call to be a catcher of people in a different sea.

Post Script:
I want to give a special thank you for all your prayers over this last year of major personal transitions. From health issues to trying to answer the question "what should I do after college?" you each have been there right beside me in support and prayer. Your prayers have moved heaven on my behalf on many an occasion. My health continues to improve greatly. I even find that I am able to eat grains occasionally without terrible side effects. Many of my body aches and pains have subsided and I am able to ride my bike more than a couple miles without collapsing. I can now ride upwards of 12 miles. I am hiking and walking and running. All of this is a testimony to greatly increased energy and stamina through God's healing hand. The Lord has provided for me financially. I also am continuing to grow in my walk with the Lord, which is the ultimate blessing. I am so thankful for God's goodness and your faithfulness! May He continue to bring me to your mind and heart in my times of need. May He also continue to bring you to my mind and heart in your times of need.

Kite Flying

2009-01-11T17:33:00.000-06:00

On Sunday, I went to the park just down the street from my house in Fort Collins to try out my new kite. The blue sky contrasted the golden-crunchy grass, and I knelt down to open up my kite case to start putting its seven-foot, rainbow-colored awesomeness together. Several attempts to catch the wind by letting the kite float lightly and take off running failed.

I heard someone about thirty yards away chuckle to a companion, "Failure to launch." I just ignored the comment and kept trying.

Another man walked by a few minutes later and said, "Any luck? Doesn't seem windy enough today."

The wind never did start to gust enough. I stuffed the kite back in its case and rewound the kite string. On Thursday of last week, I felt like a crashed kite missing the wind that usually pushes it higher. I returned home from almost two weeks of spending holidays with people that felt more like home to me than my new home in Fort Collins. A friend called this "re-entry shock" to normal, post-holiday life. Fort Collins does not quite feel like home yet. I know the wind will pick up again, but there will be days, even beautiful days spent in parks, when the wind just will not blow. So it goes.

As far as work goes, my boss's assistant was "let-go" last Friday. This is a difficult blow because she performs so many vital tasks. Many of her duties will fall to me in the coming weeks. We need to hire two on-site Advancement workers but they may not be hired for several months. Please pray that ELIC's Advancement department can continue to successfully bring in the necessary funds in light of economic and organizational deficits.

After the last update e-mail update, several of you asked how Chris and I are doing. He and I spent Christmas with his family in Kansas. I had a delightful time getting to know not only his parents but his extended family too. I must have met about forty people, including some of Chris's dearest high school/college buddies. It was wonderful to meet the people and see the places that shaped who Chris is today. We continue to see each other several times a month, both of us travelling back and forth over weekends.

Regarding my health, I broke the no sugar/no grains diet during the holiday season, but interestingly, did not feel awful. I think I am starting to see some healing and am once again returning to a more strict diet. I believe I will see permanent healing from God's hand and from faithfully following the diet.

For those of you that do pray for me, please continue to lift my health and my relationship up - great things are happening in both these areas of my life! At work, some days are harder than others. The leanness of my department at work provides a multitude of opportunities to learn problem solving skills and teamwork. Please pray for peace, cooperation, endurance, favor, and wisdom to flow through me.

As always, I love to hear how each of you are doing, even if I do not have the chance to respond immediately to your e-mails. I pray the Lord is showing you His design for the New Year!

Date Bars

2008-12-14T23:36:00.000-06:00

There are many jokes to be made out of the phrase "date bars."

Ex1:
"I'm going home to make date bars tonight."
"You're going to what?
and
Ex2:
"I'm going home to make date bars tonight."
"You've been doing that a lot lately. It must be working out well for you."
and
Ex3:
"I'm going home to make date bars tonight."
"What? You're going to bars to find dates and make out?"

Those are just a few examples. I am sure you can only imagine the other possibilities. However, "I'm going home to make date bars" has fallen from my lips several times this last week, and today I succeeded. I love Larabars - an energy-type delicious bar wrapped in clever packaging - and every Larabar usually only has 2-5 ingredients. I decided I wanted to try my hand at making them when it became impossible for me to eat less than one a day.

So off I went to Wal-Mart to find dates, almonds, and coconut. Mmmm, coconut. Then, the experiments began. My friend Bethany suggested I boil the dates so as to make them a stickier binding agent. Then I chopped up the almonds and coconut in a food processor. I combined the boiled dates with the dry ingredients (including a dash of cinnamon) and food-processed it more.

I then tried several different baking methods at varying temperatures and times. I finally settled on the following method:

Grease cookie tray
Roll mixture into little balls
Place on try
Press flat with bottom of cup (to 1/2 inch thick or so)
Bake at 315 for 30 minutes
Eat

I am so excited that I unlocked the secret to my own Larabar version. In fact, I believe the Larabar company must dehydrate or otherwise slowly cook the bars because they do not have the baked texture, making my little cakes totally original.

I shall call them:

Noellabars

Ingredients: Dates, Almonds, Coconut, Cinammon, Elbow Grease, Ingenuity, Love

200 Calories of
non-gluten, anti-processed sugar, dairy-free, potato-free, corn/corn-syrup/other-corn-derivatives-free, legume-free
BLISS

Post Christmas Party Joy

2008-12-10T15:52:00.000-06:00

I just had my first Christmas office party. It's so great to be part of an organization that celebrates the heart of Christmas. Further, I led us in singing two Christmas carols. How does it get any better than that? Five or six years ago, I wouldn't have imagined being able to play Christmas tunes on a piano let alone sing and play. It gives me such great joy each time I have the privilege to provide this service for people. It is one thing that makes my heart sing.

This week has been a bustle of activity for me since I realized the need to buy all my Christmas presents before I go home to GJ for the weekend. The coming weekend at home will be the last time I see certain friends and family until after Christmas and New Years. I hope to make this weekend as special as can be.

Now I should actually start working again. I just needed to express the joy of a day well-spent so far.

PS: Here is a picture I really like -

I keep imagining elements of the Christmas story in different ways this year. Like, what if the angels came to some Mongolian goatherders. The shepherds that first visited Jesus must have been really dirty and smelly from being out in the fields. Even baby Jesus - I often picture him with open eyes, looking angelic, and smiling up at the shepherds. Well, if they visited him right after his birth, he probably couldn't open his eyes yet. He couldn't hear the noises going on around him well. All Jesus could do a few weeks after his birth was sleep, eat, cry, and gurgle. Baby Jesus was totally helpless - born into a grimy barn to road-wearied parents. I love thinking about this.

Believe in Someone Today - You May Change a Life

2008-11-12T21:40:00.000-06:00

I just checked my work e-mail. Lame. You know you are new in town when you don't have anything to do on a Wednesday night except watch "Pushing Daisies" on abc.com and take a few moments to edit a letter for a co-worker. Yep.

So to the news. I have a new job. I am the Advancement Writer for ELIC, a non-profit that sends English teachers to Asia. If you want more information than that, then you'll have to ask me in person. My job is kind of top secret...or on the dl...or must submit to the CG (correspondence guidelines) set forth by ELIC. Yep. We're not newsmakers, and we'd like to keep it that way.

The excitement I have for this job is truly true, however. If I could have written, directed, and cast my own first real job in the real big adult world, I would have been hard pressed to develop something as well-suited to my skills and interests as being the Advancement Writer for ELIC. It combines my people, writing, editing, and managing skills in one role. Plus, I get to be extremely nerdy about words and research.

Further, I have learned that most people are good at heart.

I pondered often when I was waiting to hear about this job, two months of pondering and waiting to hear, if I was qualified enough. I pondered how I performed at the initial interview. I also pondered if sending my new boss two personality profiles (I'm an S-I-C on the DISC test, btw), four more writing samples, calling, and several e-mails would be too much. After all, he did ask me to send him anything and call with thoughtful discussion questions regarding the job.

So I did. I pondered and I was over-actively persistent. My now-boss terms my obsessive persistence "showing initiative." After three and one-half days on the job, he asked me what I really thought. He wanted to know the "true dirt" I had told my good friends and mom up to that point - first impressions about the job and such. So I ever so delicately ventured,

"I feel like I have been lifted out of nothing and given something," heavily emphasizing the something in a positive manner.

And here is what he said,

"Sometimes we just need someone who will believe in us and give us a chance no one else will."

Then he back-peddled,

"I have full-confidence you can do this job well based upon your leadership skills, writing skills, people skills, and self-starting attitude, but not everyone would have given you this job."

Truth be told, the other person they considered strongly for the job of Advancement Writer had a journalism degree, one-year of teaching experience in Asia, grant-writing experience, and had actually published some writing. Me, with my English degree, no grant-writing experience, two months of teaching experience in Asia, and no published pieces, should have been an obvious "no."

But then there is grace. My boss's wife told me at the new office building dedication ceremony ELIC held last Thursday evening that there really was not any competition. Her husband preferred me from the start. Plus, she told him my writing was better.

I am not writing that to sound cheeky, but here are my take-aways (a business-y term I picked up this week, meaning most important ideas to put in your tool bag and utilize when most efficient):

1. First impressions count.

2. Persistence pays out.

3. Be hungry.

4. Show initiative.

5. Never give up in the face of giants.

6. Believe you are the best you that you can be.

7. Say yes when opportunity knocks.

8. Be ruthlessly honest.

9. Be yourself.

10. Don't be afraid to show some emotion during an interview.

11. Venturing out into the real world is fun.

12. Always be inspired by your close friends.

13. Know that love is a constant.

14. Fear not.

15. Embrace the new.

I dedicate this blog-entry to Carrington Schaeffer for always encouraging me to write. Thanks pal.

PS I have a boyfriend. More on that later, but for now, know that waiting two months to hear about this job just may have been perfect timing in more ways than one.

A Little Slow on the Uptake

2008-09-02T21:10:00.000-05:00

Well, I am no longer between California and Colorado, just Colorado for now. I decided not to return to school in order to take care of some health issues I have been having - possible Celiac or some acute allergies to wheat and other mystery foods.

I am not avid blogger. I am sure if you check this blog ever, you will notice the inconsistency of my entries. Whelp, I simply journal a lot on paper.

Beyond the prior prattle, I am beginning to settle in to home again...although "home" in and of itself is an ambiguous term for me right now. I am not living at home with the parental, nor am I really living anywhere for certain, just kind of floating from one twin bed to the next. I hope to hear back from a Denver friend with the ok to move into her parental's basement for the next few months.

Job interviews are great. I love to talk to people, a quality, which incidentally may not work out so well at a law office that's interested in hiring me. They are all down to business there. All two of them. It should be interesting and fun, but slightly more quiet than what I am accustomed to.

In the meantime, I am taking time to re-establish old connections, make new ones, and start my own house-cleaning business. I hope to visit a professor, an old travel buddy, and a best friend before the week in over. I will also go geo-caching with a few new friends I met last week at a college Bible study group. Then, it's re-connect time with the bff. All in all, settling in isn't so bad.

Ticket Genius

2008-04-28T00:19:00.000-05:00

Let's face it, gas prices are only going up and up, which also means plane tickets are going up and up. Tonight I looked for a one-way ticket from GJ to Ontario, CA (20 minutes from my school) and found tickets no less than 300 buckeroos and up to 550 buckeroos. I was not having this, so I tried to get creative. If you live in GJ, you may know that there are Las Vegas flights on Thursdays and Sundays. So, I checked them out. $141. How does that get me closer to Ontario?
Enter Southwest Airlines. This airline has a "Wanna Get Away" ticket category. And get this - I found a ticket from Las Vegas to Ontario for $69. Yes! What great success. It gets even better...the lay-over time is only an hour and ten minutes between flights. I have just enough time to sip a Naked Juice and a read a chapter in a book. Sweet genius. I lose a day at home, but I save almost $300. I can live with that.

Change or Rest Until You Get Up

2008-04-26T01:27:00.000-05:00

Well, the whole going to

Honduras

for the summer just became really different. I am still going down to

Honduras

, but instead of staying there until the end of June, I am staying until the end of May, which is quite the change from my original plans I wrote about in my newsletter. The dust is still settling, and to be honest, I do not know how best to express what has happened to me this week as far as my plans changing! :) (it's all good, by the way).
On Monday, one of my professors said something very frank to me. She said that she would not take me out on the field right now if she were my team leader because of how tired I am. Wow. That hit me like a load of bricks - a pleasant load of bricks in the shape of hearts. She noticed acutely that I am on my way to being a "ministry casualty." The Lord has been telling me all year to rest. I must humbly admit that I do not know how to rest. I have tried to rest, but resting is so foreign to me that I have pretty much failed at it. But God is gracious. He is giving me the opportunity to respond to Him and use wisdom. Learning to rest is perhaps one of the greatest challenges culturally for Americans and especially for those within service-oriented occupations such as pastoring. If I do not learn how to rest and care for myself now, I will probably never have such a gracious window of time as the coming summer.
I am now flying home May 29th, in time for my cousin Andrew's wedding. I have not seen all of my cousins all-together for almost eleven years, which is almost criminal! Then I plan to seek the Lord in deep rest for the remainder of my summer. I know I am not supposed to work, and God has even told me not to stress out looking and applying for scholarships for school next year. His mandate is simply difficult: rest!!!
I will still be leaving for

Honduras

on May 18th, so even though my stay in

Honduras

is much shortened, I need to raise $1000. Air travel is expensive in contrast to the relatively low cost of staying in

Honduras

for a week and a half. I am growing accustomed to the idea of not being in

Honduras

, and I know there will always be opportunities to return there. However, I am learning that if I do not take much needed opportunities for rest, I may not have future ministry opportunities.
There is still a need for prayer and financial support, but both are being modified to fit this new situation. Even though I will be at home for most of the summer, I still need prayer covering for that time...that it would indeed be a time of rest, healing (I really need my tonsils to heal because they are swollen, and I do not want to have tonsil surgery), and spiritual-strengthening. I believe my swollen tonsils are connected more to being exhausted and to the spiritual bondage I am trying to walk out of - it is truly a fight for me to rest. Please pray also that my time would be protected from anything and anyone that would take away from my rest for the next three months. It might sound strange for an almost 23 year-old to be burnt out, but that indicates just how busy and stressful my life has been for a number years.
Let me know if you have any insight for me in the area of resting. I hope this answers any questions you may have due to all the changes in my plans. I would love to hear from you!

The Fast - How to Become Spiritual People

2008-02-18T14:28:00.000-06:00

School this semester has been going well! On Jan 29, I spoke to my entire school at a chapel service about the subject of "fasting." At the close of the service, I invited my school to join me in a three-day fast this coming week. Over half the campus signed up to join me in fasting! We ended the fast together with a service in my school’s chapel and chicken salad. We encountered spiritual opposition during that time with almost the whole campus coming down with a flu bug, death of close friends/family, and spiritual discouragement, but we pressed through to the end. God brought forth several promises of revival during that time. Particularly, God confirmed a word from Acts 2, which tells of the Day of Pentecost. We know that God will pour out His Spirit on this campus and that God will be restoring our sense of community unto true devotion: “They devoted themselves to…teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done…” (Acts 2:42-43)

Evangelism

2008-01-21T00:52:00.000-06:00

The look on a child’s face who has just pulled on someone’s hair or stolen a pretzel from a classmate or lied about stuffing toys in a closet instead of carefully putting each where it belongs is a telltale sign of our common humanity. Children instinctively know from an early age what right and wrong behavior is. Extrapolate this innate knowledge a few years further, and there is similar evidence that humans of all ages are perfectly aware of how their overt and closeted beliefs and behaviors each fall into two categories: right and wrong. Biblically this concept is also known as righteousness and unrighteousness. We seem to understand ourselves as either being right with God, the universe, and everything created or terribly wrong with all of the above. We all share the common and fundamental knowledge that we must embrace our humanity as a blessing and a curse because we begin life with a basic knowledge of the truth about God but quickly fall away from that knowledge into human foolishness.

Paul explains the blessing and curse of being human in the first chapter of Romans. He writes that “since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse” (1:21, italics mine). He writes further that “although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and…. exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator” (1:22,25). Gradually, for those hardened to, fallen from, or unexposed to the sacrifice of Jesus, salvation from sin, promise of new life, and discipline of following Jesus, the truth with which they began life – the truth about God and His laws – is replaced by compromise against God and against their soul. So we are all without excuse.

It is this common humanity with which the would-be evangelist is confronted. We grapple with people’s stubborn resistance to truth. This is the truth which people already know even when that truth is buried beneath years of mind-warping sin. The job, then, of the evangelist is to utilize two main tools: conviction and compassion.

The Apostle Paul, evangelist to the Gentiles, provides an excellent demonstration of the type of conviction of which I speak. The historian Luke records in the book of Acts a time when Paul walked into Athens to find a city full of idols. He made his way to Mars Hill and to the Areopagus, a gathering of the philosophical elite of the city, to convict the Athenians of their common humanity. He begins his poetic speech by saying:

Men of Athens! I see that in every way you are very religious. For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: TO AN UNKNOWN GOD. Now what you worship as something unknown I am going to proclaim to you. (Acts 17 22,23, italics mine)

With adept perception, Paul compliments the Athenians on their interest in religious elements and subjects. He acknowledges that he and the Athenians share a common knowledge and interest in all things divine. Yet, for all of their statues and philosophies, they do not know the true God. He points out how they make themselves busy worshipping something they do not know. Then, fully inspired by and filled with the Holy Spirit, Paul brings home the punch line. He promises a revelation of the full-truth that will illuminate all the tainted half-truths of which they were already painfully aware. He describes the one, true God with the following:

The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring. (Romans 17:24-28, italics mine)

Paul convicts them of their historic opportunity to reach out for God, no longer allowing the Athenians to lay claim to ignorance or confusion with his concise description of God’s intentional design and placement of each human being on the earth. Paul’s idea echoes a much earlier writing by an ancient Hebrew poet who wrote, “He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end….God does it so that men will revere him” (Ecclesiastes 3:11b,14b). Truly, no person is without excuse before God. God’s spiritual presence in this earth is always working to confront and convict people everywhere of that deep something they already know about God and his laws. Paul left the Athenians with one alternative to their groping for God: repentance. He finishes his speech by saying, “In the past God overlooked such ignorance, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent” (Acts 17:30). A few notable members of the Areopagus decided in that moment to repent and believe.

The Holy Spirit’s conviction comes from such an otherworldly place, a pure and heavenly place, that un-believers (ie: people who once believed; I reject the notion of the non-believer, since this implies absolutely no knowledge of God and his laws) cannot help but alter their behavior around the in-dwelt believer. It is one thing to have convictions about sharing the gospel, but it is quite another thing to be so powerfully in-dwelt by the Holy Spirit that the Spirit of God walks into all of life’s situations with you and performs the work of loosing and convicting the hearts of the lost for you. I experience this phenomenon of conviction most often in the workplace. When I worked as a barista at a coffee shop in my hometown, my co-workers would often carry on hushed conversations in the back room. The hushed tones and trembling excitement in their voices always signaled to me that they were talking about one of three things: sex, drugs, or cussing someone out. I would purposefully walk to the back room just to see ‘what-up,’ and immediately those conversations would halt. Out of curiosity, I began asking my co-workers why they would stop their conversations around me. I relay their unanimous response to illustrate the power of Holy Spirit’s conviction. Their unanimous response was always something like, “You are too pure. I know I won’t offend you, but I don’t want to corrupt you.” My response was usually something like, “Oh yeah, what makes you think I am pure or that your conversation could corrupt me?” Again, people innately know right from wrong, even if they claim that wrong is right. This was clear around my co-workers. The righteous presence of the Holy Spirit in me was enough to convict their hearts of their sin. It was not so much that I was “pure” or even somehow better at being human than them. They were simply reminded by me everyday that all was not right with their state of common humanity. They knew the truth but did not live by it. So how does the convicting work of evangelism move people towards repentance and belief?

The prophet Isaiah filled his book with acute descriptions of the Israelites’ failings in their relationship with God. They of all people understood the plight of knowing God’s truth and being seemingly incapable of living by it. Amidst this atmosphere of foolish living, Isaiah prophesied to them a great hope and promise from God. He wrote that if they turn from their selfish and worldly habits to a true compassion for all people, that their “righteousness will go before [them], and the glory of the LORD will be [their] rear guard” (Isaiah 58:8b). Essentially, the going before and behind of the Lord’s righteousness and glory works like the Holy Spirit conviction of the New Testament, but Isaiah also described in detail what their compassion should look like in the two preceding verses. He wrote the following as a direct oracle from God:

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share our food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter— when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?” (Isaiah 58:6,7)

This is the compassion of evangelism. When people are convicted of their own tragic displacement within God’s good order, they do not go looking for a good beating. The conviction of the Holy Spirit causes them to examine the loneliness of their hearts and souls. They realize how wrong they are. They become broken.

It may be that the Holy Spirit uses you to speak to them in their brokenness, but such speech must be compassionate and not harshly judgmental. The compassionate speaker identifies him/herself as having been commonly human too and compassionately offers the hope of being lifted up out of pain, hurt, and despair by a God that seeks people out of His love for them and who longs to end injustice, oppression, hunger, poverty, and the nakedness of His creations that strayed from Him.

However, the Holy Spirit may use you to perform compassionate acts in order to speak louder than words to hearts of the broken. This requires self-sacrifice and the discomfort of risking all of your heart and life to save a life. So you sell everything you have to move to a foreign location in order to teach English or open an unassuming coffee shop or an orphanage to be with broken people and offer them the hope that is found in Jesus Christ. Or you stay where you are at a job or school you love or hate in order to continue having short lunch-time conversations with your co-worker who is recently divorced and likes to tell you all the gory details. We offer our lives as “living sacrifices” (Romans 12:2) as our only act of gratitude to the God who makes Himself known to all people through the most convicting and compassionate man to walk the earth, His son Jesus the Messiah. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes on Him will not perish but acquire everlasting life” (I John 3:16).

The work of evangelism uses the tools of conviction and compassion to turn the broken back to the truth about life and God, to a lifestyle of glorifying and thanking God for sending his Son. These two tools issue from the Holy Spirit’s presence in the life of the evangelist. Such in-dwelling is my desire. Come Holy Spirit, come.

O is for Observation (this is tedious but gives you an idea of the kinds of observations noted for further study)

2007-11-25T02:30:00.001-06:00

Actually, this project and these observations represent a fraction of the readings and observations I normally make. Other projects have involved observations in of Genesis 1-13; Exodus 19-24/Deuteronomy 4,5 and 28-32/Leviticus 26 (this one slew of observations was 31 pages long, if that gives you an idea); and Luke 1-15. The Psalm project was considerably easier than all of the above.

Kid Christmas

Practicum

Professor Tremper

12 November 2007

IBP # 3: Psalm Project – Psalm 118

I. Observations

A. Theme – God’s love endures forever (1)

B. Key Words – faithful, love, endures, forever, refuge, surrounded, thanks (1)

C. Laws of Composition – figurative language – metaphor, simile, repetition, rhyme of thought, personification, pleonasm, apostrophe, enveloping, refrain (2)

D. Type of Psalm – Thanksgiving [for victory] (2)

E. Observations of Psalm 118

1. Verses 1-4

a. Repeats the same refrain “His faithful love endures forever,” yet calls for this refrain from Israel, house of Aaron, and those who fear the Lord (2)

1) What is it about God’s “faithful love” that is forever enduring?

2) How does this endure forever?

3) Why is this a key characteristic of God in this Psalm?

4) Who is the speaker?

5) Why does the speaker ask for a repetition of the refrain from Israel, house of Aaron, and those who fear the Lord?

6) What does “those who fear the Lord” mean? – synecdoche?

b. The repetition makes a bold statement of rejoicing(2)

c. Forms part of the “envelope” for the entire Psalm with the refrain (2)

d. This stanza states the purpose of the psalm – to give thanks (4)

2. Verses 5-7

a. Recounts the moment of distress (2)

b. Uses a rhetorical question – “What can man do to me?” (2)

c. Uses “a spacious place” as a figure – what does this mean? And is it like a circumlocution? (3)

d. Repeats “I” like a pleonasm (3)

e. Why is God equated to a “helper”? (4)

3. Verses 8, 9

a. These verses use antithetic parallelism by making a statement about trusting God and then comparing God to men/nobles (3)

b. Lays out a spiritual principal about the blessing of trusting God (3)

c. Repeats “It is better” and “take refuge in the Lord” as a kind of emphatic repetition (epanadiplosis or epizeuxis) (3)

d. Why would someone trust nobles and man? (4)

4. Verses 10-14

a. What are “the nations”? – metonymy – why so many enemies? (3)

b. What is “the name of the Lord”? – metonymy (3)

c. Uses simile (like bees, fire) – how does this language affect the image of the enemy? – why use fire and bees? (3)

d. Uses metaphorical language to describe God – strength, song, salvation – how does this work? – what do these qualities confirm about God’s character? – why are these qualities important for victory in battle? (3)

e. Repeats the same phraseology (“in the name of the Lord,” “they surrounded me”) for emphasis – epanadiplosis – why is there such repetition of phrases? – Is this a refrain technique? (3)

f. Action verbs repeated (destroyed, extinguished, surrounded, pushed, helped) – what does this do to the tension of the stanza? (3)

g. Who is “You” in verse 13? – “You pushed me hard to make me fall” (3)

h. Why is the “name of the Lord” required alongside victorious action? (3)

i. This is a description of a battle, but it never says “battle” explicitly – Why? (3)

j. Is God working with, alongside, in, through, or for the speaker? – why would God work against the speaker’s enemies? (4)

5. Verses 15-18

a. “Tents of the righteous” – who are “the righteous”? – Is this a synecdoche? (2)

b. Personification of God – “The Lord’s right hand” – also repeats this description three times exuberantly (3)

c. Why the “right hand” and not the left? (3)

d. Why the “hand” and not the foot? (3)

e. “The Lord’s right hand strikes with power!” frames “The Lord’s right hand is raised!” – these three lines form a refrain or an epanadiplosis within the stanza (3)

f. Verse 17 repeats “I” and uses “but” to show contrast between the first “I” and the second “I” (3)

g. Why does this stanza seem to infer that the speaker was close to death as a result of disobedience (that he/she needed disciplining)? (3)

h. Why would God want to kill the speaker? Is this hyperbole? (3)

i. Why does the speaker want to “proclaim what the Lord has done”? – does this contradict what others might do in the same situation? (4)

6. Verses 19-24

a. To who is “open” a command in verse 19? (3)

b. What/where are the “gates of righteousness”? – circumlocution – why should the speaker enter through them? – is this necessary to give thanks to God? (3)

c. Repeats “You” – pleonasm – why the emphasis of You rather than a name for God? (3)

d. Why is the speaker giving thanks? (3)

e. Uses metaphorical language to describe God (“become my salvation”) (3)

f. Who is the “stone” and “cornerstone”? – metaphor – why is this language being used? (3)

g. In verse 23, what is “This” and “it” that came from the Lord and is wonderful? (3)

h. What does “This is the day that the Lord has made” mean? – what is the day for? – is it different from other days? (synecdoche) (3)

i. Who are the people included in “us” in verse 24? (3)

j. Why do “the righteous” enter the “gates of righteousness”? – why does the gate belong to “the Lord”? – what does God owning the gate indicate about His nature? (4)

k. What was the speaker’s question or call that the Lord would have “answered”? (5)

l. Does the stone and cornerstone allude to Christ? (5)

m. Why were the gates closed? (5)

7. Verses 25-29

a. Who are the “us” in verse 25? (3)

b. What are they being saved from? – does this refer back to the second stanza? (3)

c. Why is the one blessed “who comes in the name of the Lord”? (3)

d. Why do the “we” from verse 26 bless people from “the house of the Lord”? – what is “the house of the Lord”? (3)

e. Why has God given “light”? (3)

f. Why is there a sacrifice being offered? (3)

g. Verse 28 contains a synonymous parallelism – why is the phrase “You are my God” emphasized? – what does using the possessive “my” do to the tone of the phrase? – what does this phrase demonstrate about God’s personal qualities? (3)

h. The psalm ends how it begins with “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His faithful love endures forever,” completing the envelope (frame) begun in the first lines of the psalm – why does the speaker frame the psalm this way? – what does it emphasize? (3)

i. What kind of “success” is being asked for? (5)

j. What are “the horns of the altar”? (5)

k. Does the speaker represent more than just him/herself at times, like representing the people as a whole? (synecdoche) (5)

F. Basic Outline – Psalm 118

1. The purpose of the Psalm (1-4)

a. Give thanks

b. People give thanks

2. The situation that invokes thankfulness (5-7)

a. A call of distress

b. The rescue

3. A principle of trust (8, 9)

a. God is trustworthy

b. Humans are not trustworthy

4. A description of the battle (10-14)

a. The overwhelming position of the enemy

b. The victory of partnership between God and speaker

5. A declaration of God’s justice (15-18)

a. God’s right hand is praised by those in the tents of righteousness

b. The speaker is thankful for God’s mercy

6. Entering into a place of righteousness and praise (19-24)

a. The speaker enters a good place (in life)

b. The speaker describes the blessing of a secure position

7. Final requests of and blessings to God (25-29)

a. A request for continued success

b. A sacrifice of praise

I is for Interpretation of Genre

2007-11-25T02:27:00.000-06:00

I. Formal Essay

The Nature of Biblical Poetry: the Challenges Created by the Ancient Poet

Poetry is a literary form dating as far back as any other kind of literature, if not the farthest, because of the way in which poetic verses are easily called to memory. Ancient Biblical poetry presents a number of difficulties to modern readers because the original poets had a specific goal in mind that was couched within their particular historical situation. How does Biblical poetry challenge the modern reader? In general, Biblical poetry uses figures of speech and other language structures that were specific to its time and context and that are not often obvious in the present day. Specifically, as is the focus of this essay, the Psalms present further poetic challenges through their many purposes and forms. The original goal, the several different types, and the language of the Psalms are the three main barriers to understanding the vast and wonderful content of the Psalms.

The original goal of the Psalms is buried beneath years of history, presenting a challenge to modern readers when they try to understand the purpose of these ancient song-poems. Psalms were originally meant to be heard in the context of a worshipful conversation with God, and each psalm “served the crucial function of making connection between the worshiper and God” (Fee 210). Biblical Psalms were usually “sung in worship at the temple” and were highly valued by the Israelites as well as other ruling nations (Klein 354). As such, the Psalms, like most poetry, are individual and independent from each other; each psalm is “its own literary context” (Klein 358). This means that each psalm does not depend upon any other psalm for the meaning of its context, but this does not separate the psalm from a certain sense of historical context (358). Again, this historical context would normally place the psalm as an element of temple worship. The historical context being such, the modern reader of psalms can use the psalms as “a guide to worship,” a demonstration of honest dialogue with God, and a reminder of the positive benefit of “reflection and meditation on things that God has done for us” (Fee 223). However, the modern reader is also challenged not to “overexegete” the psalms (207). The psalms are “addressed to the mind through the heart” (207), so the interpretation of a psalm should lead to an emotional effect rather than a purely mental effect. Using the Psalms as a tool to allow emotions to flow to God is perhaps the best way to understand the original goal of the psalmist.

Another challenge to readers is the challenge of understanding the original purpose behind each psalm. The historical function of the biblical Psalms was to make a connection between people as they express their emotions to God as He listens. However, as much as there is a wide array of emotion to be expressed, so too are there many genre of psalms found within the Biblical collection. Understanding the genre of a psalm better aids the reader in understanding the emotional and worshipful goal of the original author. There are several different types of Psalms: lament, thanksgiving, hymns of praise, salvation-history, celebration, affirmation, wisdom, songs of trust, and imprecatory (Fee 212-214, 220). Identifying what type of psalm is being read then allows the reader to read the poetic language of the poem in light of its specific function. For example, a lament expresses deep sorrow and distress regarding the true-to-life experience of the author. Knowing that a psalm is a lament will aid the reader in understanding the type of emotional poetic language being used.

The Psalms employ figurative language from an ancient time where useful analogies and other relationships between words may be lost to modern readers. Common to all psalms is a use of metaphor and simile. Both figures of speech make comparisons between two essentially different things in order to add color or to infer a new meaning based upon the juxtaposed relationship. When interpreting ancient metaphors and similes, the savvy interpreter should try to “listen” for the original “intent” of the language (Fee 208). Likewise, when hyperbole, asyndeton, synecdoche, repetition, or personification confront the reader, identifying the genre of each individual psalm as well as the original goal of the poet will help flesh out the possible meanings of figurative language (Tremper 34-36). Having a firm understanding of figurative language is essential to understanding the Psalms since poetic language is not usually literal in any way.

Many challenges face both the casual reader and the experienced Bible scholar when interpreting psalms. The distance of time between the ancient days and modern days makes understanding Biblical psalms difficult for three reasons: the original goal, the genre, and the figurative language all stand as barriers to proper hermeneutics. The way to overcome these challenges is to carefully reconstruct the original intent of the psalm as well as the social environment in which it was read. With this understanding, describing the psalm in terms of its genre helps the informed reader gain valuable insight into the many figures of speech found therein. The Psalms are challenging but not impossible. The most important thing to remember about interpreting the Psalms is to focus upon the emotional impact of the psalm and to not use the psalm in a setting much different than its original setting of worshipful connection with God.

I is for Interpretation

2007-11-25T02:26:00.000-06:00

III. Poetical Analysis of Psalm 118

Psalm 118: If the Shoe Fits, Wear It

Genre provides several key pieces of information for biblical psalms. Genre helps to narrow the function of the psalm down from a more general function in a worshipful setting to a specific function that addresses the needs of a specific worship event. Worship, that act of connecting people to God through expressive songs, serves several purposes, and the many purposes of worship help define common psalm genres. When dealing with a specific psalm, the first step towards interpretation is picking which function of worship is most appropriate. What are the various genres of the Psalms? The genre types for the Psalms include the lament, thanksgiving, hymns of praise, salvation history, celebration/affirmation, wisdom, and songs of trust. Analyzing Psalm 118, for example, through the lens of genre will demonstrate the usefulness and necessity of using genre to create a deeper understanding of the original historical event that inspired the psalm.

The reader can often identify the genre of a psalm by reading through the first couple of lines. The intent of the psalm is often placed right at the beginning. Psalm 118 begins with “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good” (HCSB), and from this explicit beginning, the psalm speak immediately about thanksgiving. Fee and Stuart identify a general form that all thanksgiving psalms follow; the form has five parts: introduction, distress, appeal, deliverance, and testimony (218). The form progresses from general praise of God to the specific details of how God moved in mercy back to a general praise for God’s steadfast character. The beginning refrain of Psalm 118 that helps identify it as a thanksgiving psalm also serves as part of the introduction, where the audience learns a “testimony” (218) of God. The thanksgiving within the psalm is based upon the theme that God’s “faithful loves endures forever.” God’s faithfulness is then demonstrated by the account of distress, appeal, and deliverance that follow. Psalm 118:5 explains how the speaker “called to the Lord in distress,” and this marks the beginning of the account of distress all the way through verse nine. Following the distress call, the speaker describes the type of battle s/he fought in. The enemies of the speaker are said to have “surrounded” (vv 10-12) and “pushed” (13), and this language helps to identify these verses as an opportunity for appeal. The speaker makes a poetic appeal “in the name of the Lord” (vv 10-12). This appeal is meant to move the Lord to action in favor of the speaker. The appeal flows naturally into an account of deliverance. The speaker in the poem hears “shouts of joy and victory” as the Lord’s “right hand strikes with power!” (v 15). The Lord mercifully disciplines the speaker but ultimately saves the speaker, and the s/he declares, “I will not die, but I will live and proclaim what the Lord has done” (v 17). The next stanza is a proclamation of deliverance where the speaker is brought into a safe place, “gates of righteousness” (v 19), and once inside, the speaker says, “I will give thanks to You/ because You have answered me/ and have become my salvation” (v 21). The deliverance is so complete that the psalmist calls God “my salvation,” and the use of the possessive pronoun shows how personally the writer views God. Psalm 118 ends appropriately with a renewal of the original testimony offered in the first lines of the psalm: “Give thanks to the Lord,/ for He is good;/ His faithful love endures forever” (v 29).

Identifying the genre of a psalm has several implications. The genre type distinguishes the form of the psalm from other types of psalms, preserving the idea that psalms are individually independent and can stand alone as statements of worship that address a specific need. The specific need expressed in Psalm 118 is one of thanksgiving. As a thanksgiving psalm, Psalm 118 ascribes to a typical thanksgiving form in five parts. Once all five parts of the thanksgiving psalm are identified, the next step for interpretation is to take a closer look at the types of figurative language being used. The figurative language in use should be linked somehow to the idea of thanksgiving, and most specifically, the five parts of the thanksgiving psalm help the reader understand the use of repeated phrases and words throughout single sections of the entire psalm.

C is for Correlation

2007-11-25T02:25:00.000-06:00

IV. Theme and Expected Emotional Response to Psalm 118

I’ve Got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy Down in My Heart Tuesday!

On the surface, Psalm 118 stands out as a thanksgiving hymn wherein the speaker is saved from great danger and brought to a place of peace inside the gates of God. The thanksgiving within the psalm is certainly the driving force behind the genre of the psalm as well as much of the content, but the true theme of the psalm reflects God’s nature instead of the act of giving thanks to God. Psalms function to remind readers and singers and musicians about God’s character in such a way that invokes a deeply felt inward emotion that then brings about the outward response of praise and thanksgiving. The theme of Psalm 118 then focuses on the quality of God’s love for His people. The theme of Psalm 118 is shown in the repeated refrain “His faithful love endures forever,” and the emotional response this divine characteristic summons is a feeling of joy that then bursts forth in praise and thanks to God.

The refrain “His faithful love endures forever” envelopes the psalm, opening and closing the lyrics. The refrain identifies the main theme that is developed through the recounting of how God saves the speaker of the psalm in the middle section of the psalm. The “Lord” places the speaker in a “spacious place” (v 5), which intones a place of safety and refreshing. The Lord then is compared to a “helper” (v 7) and to the idea of “refuge” (vv 8, 9). As such, the Lord becomes the speaker’s strength, song, and salvation (v 14) from the nations that surrounded him/her (v 10). The idea that the speaker’s enemy was “the nations” also implies that though the speaker in the psalm is predominately singular, the speaker more than likely represents his/her family, tribe, or the nation of Israel. This may help explain why the speaker switches from first person to third person pronouns in verses 23 through 27; the speaker begins to say things like “let us rejoice and be glad in it” and “The Lord is good and has given us light” (vv 24, 27 italics mine). Further, there is a chorus of “shouts of joy and victory in the tents of the righteous” (v 15), which reinforces the corporate aspect of Psalm 118. The words “rejoice” and “glad” and the phrase “shouts of joy and victory” indicate the kind of emotion involved in singing/reading this psalm aloud; the readers/singers of this psalm are to be filled with an overwhelming sense of joy. The content of the psalm suggests that it functions to aid a number of worshippers in thanking and praising God for His “faithful love.” All of the praising and thanking emphasizes the theme that God’s people should give thanks to God as their reaction to His “faithful love [enduring] forever.”

One of our modern thanksgiving hymns, written by Chris Tomlin, takes its theme from Psalm 118. Chris Tomlin’s song has been pumped through Christian radio and featured by worship leaders across the world. The opening lyrics are, “Give thanks to the Lord, our God and King, His love endures forever.” Driven by an upbeat bass line and intense percussion crescendos, Chris Tomlin’s song serves the function of uplifting the spirits of modern day worshippers by reminding them that God’s goodness is “above all things” and that this eternal quality is available to God’s people in their time of need. It is no surprise then that the psalm from which Tomlin derived his modern hymn of thanksgiving functioned to create the same uplifting effect thousands of years ago to Israelites worshipping in the temple of God. Seeing how Chris Tomlin’s refrains are used in the church today serves to underscore the original purpose, function, theme, and emotional response engendered originally by Psalm 118. The theme is God’s “love endures forever.” The expected emotional response is to be uplifted by emotions of joy into such a state as to posit the human heart in a posture of external thanksgiving and praise.

A is for Application

2007-11-25T02:22:00.001-06:00

V. Original Psalm

Psalm 151: A Lament for Rest

I call to the Lord in a time of brokenness;

In a time of inner-sickness I cry out.

My body fails me in light of the mountain I climb;

The rocks of the mountain tumble down against my spirit.

My eyes are filled with the heights above;

My body trembles for the steep hills below.

But in the dawn of each new day

Breaks forth, to my great joy, a strong light.

The Lord comes each morning to care for me.

In the dawn of each new day,

The Lord is constantly beside me,

Preparing the path ahead and placing each of my steps.

The way of the Lord is firm and always leads to rest

The breath I breathe comes easily on the path that leads to my salvation.

The hard work of the day cuts the strength of my spirit;

In the name of the Lord, I find strength to stand.

Food that should nourish my body saps my strength,

Thirst is never quenched by the wells of man’s hand,

And crowds dampen my mind with their sorrows;

The name of the Lord is my strong tower and my hiding place.

The fortress of peace stands strong against cares and troubles;

The name of the Lord is my rest.

My soul cries out:

“The Lord is my shield and my buckler!”

“The Lord fights for those He calls His own!”

“The Lord is my shield and my buckler!”

Even though I have wandered into danger,

Foolishly saying “yes” and “no” without wisdom,

The Lord makes plans to preserve His child.

In great mercy the Lord spares my life.

I call for wisdom;

I cry out for wisdom.

Continually place me within the boundary of Your goodness,

And heal the sickness of my body

That I may serve You in fullness of health until forever.

Be with me in the morning, the day, and the nighttime.

Do not let your servant be overcome by mountains high and valleys low;

Hear my cry from within the avalanche.

I wrote the psalm above to address my current circumstances. I have struggled for most of my life with health problems that impinge upon every moment of every day. I am often exhausted and have forgotten what it feels like to be rested and alert. My health worsens with stress and lack of sleep, yet I find it difficult to take better care of myself. Even though I am a college student with a full plate, I still make choices about how I use my time. I have never seen a successful model of the balanced life I know I need to live, so I find it difficult to not over-extend myself. I think to myself, “I have already said ‘no’ so many times that this one time of saying ‘yes’ to an activity or person won’t hurt,” but every ‘yes’ has the potential to derail a night’s sleep or a moments peace.

Through this all, I keep turning to God, asking Him to show me what it means to live in His peace. I am trying to listen to His voice. I depend so literally upon Him for everything else, but I still find it difficult to listen as He is continually available to direct each step and ‘yes’ and ‘no’ in my life. I think sometimes the “manual car,” the thing I need to know how to do better than anyone else is to learn how to rest. If I do not learn how to rest better, I will lose my place as an effective instrument of the Lord, and I desperately do not want that.

We Learn as We Go

2007-11-25T01:55:00.001-06:00

Kid Christmas

Professor Hetzendorfer

Counseling

10 October 2007

Response #2: Death

A person told me that “God did not design us to die, and that’s why we as fallen humanity have no innate ability to understand death.” Death is a topic about which no one, including the Church, can offer a succinct/final answer. Often the first question the person experiencing the loss of a loved one will ask is “Why?” The obvious answers (sickness, old age, accident, suicide, murder) do not sufficiently explain death. Death is not merely a tangible cause and effect situation. When a person dies, the person takes with them his/her spirit, mind, will, and emotion out of this world to – Christians say heaven – whatever comes next. People deal with death on more than a purely physical level; death causes people to begin asking questions about God, about eternity, about goodness, about justice, and about the nature of existence. This paper is a reflection upon my recent experiences with death. In particular, I will explore my pain and anguish over the death of a close friend, a young friend.

A year ago I received word that something had happened with my good friend Landon. I have known Landon since high school. After high school, Landon left Grand Junction and came to Orange County, CA to attend Vanguard University. He would come home every now and then to visit for holidays. The last time I saw him was his 21^st birthday, but a year ago, Landon sent a suicide letter in the mail to a college friend. The letter arrived three days after Landon committed suicide somewhere in the Big Bear National Forest. Only, for the last year, many of us from Colorado still believed he was still alive because the original search and rescue teams found his abandoned car but not his body. Last month I found out that a hiker found what has been be identified as Landon’s remains. My friend is dead. My friend was dead that whole year. I will never see him again in this life. I will never hear his laugh or hear him sing or squeeze his arm or hug him. I feel like I have been through every stage of grief. I feel sad. I have felt angry that such a young and talented man had been stolen from this earth by depression and identity crisis. I have asked why. I do not really understand how it is that he is gone. I believed so strongly for a whole year that he was still alive. I miss him. I want to retroactively comfort him; I wish I could have been there for him more. I regret not calling him more often. In the end, I feel futile because I can not do anything about what is already done. I have no say, and that feels unjust.

Death is unreasonable to the human mind, but the Bible does offer a doctrine of comfort for those who mourn. Matthew 5:4 says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Also, Job 5:11 says that “Those who mourn will be lifted to safety.” The Bible promises comfort and safety to me. Jesus, the ultimate peace-giver, experienced mourning for a close friend’s death when Lazarus died. The scripture says that “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). I find comfort in knowing that Jesus knows exactly how I feel. Through this painful experience, I have made it my goal to pray for the salvation of Landon’s family whenever I think of the loss of his life. I also remain open with my friends. It helps to discuss such a difficult issue with others who will simply listen to me. I decided to get out pictures of Landon and to focus on remembering his amazing qualities rather than being critical of his decision to commit suicide. I hope that God will show me how Landon’s death can glorify His name. I may never understand Landon’s death, but I know that I receive comfort when I allow God to guide my emotions through this time.

Throw a Rock at God

2007-11-25T01:53:00.000-06:00

Kid Christmas

Professor Salmeier

Theology I

19 November 2007

Case Study 3 – Experiencing God

The stairs were only another fifteen feet away, and I knew that if I could reach the top of the stairs I would be home free. The quick walk from my car to the quiet of my office on the second floor of the academic building involved the game of dodge-student. Not that I minded speaking with students who came up to ask me this or that odd question about their homework assignment. It was more that I liked so much starting my day quietly and simply. I walked faster. A new student of mine stepped out of the school café. I glanced at her and knew that my quick pace would not outdo the look of hope that was in her face. She turned and walked my way, intercepting my path to the stairs. She wore a blue-hooded sweatshirt with blue pajama pants and looked tired and disheveled.

“Professor Salmeier?” she said, “Hey, so you know Case Study 3? And do you remember how I didn’t turn it in on Monday?”

“Yes.”

“Well, funny thing. I wrote it and intended to stick it under your door on Friday afternoon, but just as I was almost finished, I had to leave my room. So I saved the document again and x’d out of the Word window. Then I realized I never hit “save as…” When I x’d out of the Word window, the file got erased.”

“I am sorry to hear that about your paper.” I smiled at her, but she looked like she had more to say. My game of dodge-student was over, so I motioned her to stand to my left. “Would you like to follow me to my office,” I asked and finished, “I just arrived, and I have a class in an hour, but we can talk about this until then if you would like.”

“Thanks Professor Salmeier. That would be great.”

The two of us climbed the stairs and entered the little hallway that lead to my office. Between the bottom of the stairs and the top of the stairs, she explained how her paper was erased again. Her voice sounded high pitched and tense. She called the event of her paper being erased an “academic trauma” from which she would not soon recover. I chuckled at that. She assured me that the paper had been excellent and creative. We reached my office door. The wad of keys the school gave to me contained at least a dozen similar-looking brass keys. The key to my office door was subtly etched with an ‘A-217’ and was, as usual, the last key I looked at after having looked at all the others. I unlocked the door, but left the sickly fluorescent lights off. It was better to open the window blinds than to shock myself with the annoying buzz of the light bulbs and the slight flickering common to all fluorescent lighting. The chair in front of the desk was pushed in, so I pulled it on its wheels across the plastic desk mat that hides the carpet and motioned her to sit down.

“So, Noelle, when you wrote your paper the first time, how did it go?”

“It was so great. It was the first time I tried to write a paper for Theology as a philosophical conversation rather than a step by step academic paper. I felt I was capturing the concerns of ‘Samantha’ and her annoying friend, I named him ‘Joe,’ as well as a representation of a real-life conversation.” She stared out the window while she spoke with a savory look in her eyes like she could still see the lost essay in her periphery.

“Well tell me about your dialogue,” I said. I hoped that by talking about it she could regain the confidence to write the paper again. She took a deep breath and paused a moment. She looked at her hands and wiggled her fingers like she was typing something. Then, she opened her mouth and began talking. The tone of her voice sounded more relaxed as she began to explain her lost paper to me.

“Ok. I set the scene in the coffee shop. Samantha and Joe asked their questions, and I invited them to sit down at my table with me. In the dialogue, I had just finished a one-pump mocha, one-pump almond, soy caffé misto with cinnamon powder on top. I wrote that Samantha knocked my empty cup over, so I picked it up and weighed it in my hand. I started the conversation by saying, ‘I wonder if I could build a cup too heavy for me to lift. I think your friend’s questions are very interesting and worth answering. I think we should discuss each question (the rock, the shutting of one’s mouth, and the way we experience God’s power) because each question is tied directly to the others.” She had moved her hand to simulate the picking up of an empty cup. Her description of the scene was filled with warmth and I could tell she regarded her characters, Samantha and Joe, as seriously as she would real people. I did not interrupt her but waved my hand for more.

“Then, we all talked about how it was possible for each of us to build a cup too heavy to lift. We talked about how there are certain limitations to being human. Then I asked Samantha to tell me what God must be like in comparison to human beings. I assumed that her character would have said something like, ‘God is the most perfect, perfect being imaginable because he is everything I am not.’ I thought that was a great way to introduce the concept that God, being infinite, is essentially different from his finite creations. I remember discussing that in class last Monday. So from there, I wrote more about how God’s infiniteness is different that human finiteness. I thought that the idea of the ‘cup too heavy to lift’ was like the idea of the ‘rock too heavy to lift,’ so from there I explained how the question was perhaps an appropriate test of human power and ability but that the question was self-contradictory when applied to God because the question requires an illogical and impossible combination of ‘things’ (Mavrodes 280). I understood Mavrodes argument about the square-circle as a smaller model for the impossible reconciliation of God’s infinity with a finite rock. Either God would become less immaterial and omnipotent in order to not lift the rock, which is impossible since he is essentially infinite in power and divinity, or the rock would become less material and finite in order for it to outweigh God’s omnipotent power to lift, which is impossible since the rock is essentially material and finite. This led to a discussion of what it meant for God to have omnipotent power. I pointed out, again because of Mavrodes and our discussion in class, that omnipotent power is equivalent at all times, meaning that certain expressions of God’s power are proportionate to others. I explained how God’s power to lift is not greater or less than his power to create since to be omnipotent is to be simultaneously and equally powerful in all ways (281).

“In the dialogue, Samantha seemed ready to accept this explanation of omnipotence, but Joe still wanted to push the topic further with his ‘shutting-mouth’ test for God’s omnipotence. So I conflated the topic of Joe’s ‘shutting-mouth’ mouth question with the underlying and most important question of them all, being ‘Does God express his power in ways that humans can experience and understand and so have belief in God?’” Noelle’s voice had risen excitedly at this point and she paused to look directly at me.

I said, “Yes, that does seem to be the key question of the case study. It’s important that you noted that people desire to experience and understand how God expresses his power because this lays a foundation for all further beliefs about who God is.”

“Yeah!” she said. “That’s what I was going for because it seems like ‘Joe’ and ‘Samantha’s’ questions were merely screening a deep-seated desire to know and understand God but they were afraid and rightfully concerned if they couldn’t see a tangible proof-by-experience of God expressing his power. Then they would necessarily be able to conclude that God is not omnipotent and further, that God might not even be God in that perfect and infinite sense.

“So I gave them biblical examples from Acts 7 and 9 about the stories of Stephen and Saul, explaining that the former displayed a case where it looked like God should have acted but didn’t and the latter displayed a case where God should have acted and did. If I were Stephen, I would have hoped that God would save me, but instead, God does not ‘show up to save the day,’ so to speak. Even so, Stephen expresses his belief in God’s power to act to his last breath, saying, ‘Lord, do not hold this sin against them!’ (7:60). The narrative denotes that a man named Saul is standing by while Stephen is martyred, looking approvingly upon the scene. Stephen’s dying request of God is for God to show his mercy to those that sinned by participating in his murder. It’s not that Stephen exercised any control over God, affecting what would happen next, but the case seems to be that while God did not rescue Stephen, God chose to express his power in another way. Chapter 9 of the Acts of the Apostles returns to Saul’s narrative and provides a case where God expresses his power and mercy by stopping Saul as he journeyed in search of more Christians to persecute. The narrative says that a ‘light from heaven flashed around him…and he fell to the ground and heard a voice’ (9:3,4). The voice identifies itself as ‘Jesus whom you [Saul] are persecuting’ and tells Saul to enter Damascus and wait for further instruction. Blinded and overcome by the experience, Saul’s men take him into the city where he waits for three days. At some point in those three days, God summons a disciple named Ananias to pray for Saul. The result is that Saul regains his sight and is radically changed from a persecutor to disciple. Saul’s life was spared and Stephen’s was not. This may seem overwhelmingly unfair from a human perspective, especially since we are predisposed to like Stephen and vilify Saul, but neither the lack nor the presence of God’s intervention indicates that God is more or less powerful. God’s infinite perspective does not conform to the finite perspective of humanity. God chooses to act how he will, and his actions do not depend upon the situational needs of people. I explained this in my dialogue with ‘Samantha’ and ‘Joe’ to show Joe that his desire or lack of desire for God’s omnipotent intervention was not sufficient or necessary to preclude an experience of God’s power,” she paused and looked up, “Sorry, that was quite the mouthful.”

“That’s ok. I think you used the biblical examples well, but while you were writing did you begin to think about the implications of the difference between the human and divine perspectives? The human perspective of interaction is usually this: when I don’t interact with people I am usually ignorant of their existence, apathetic towards their existence, or purposely ignoring the fact of their existence. When I choose to interact with people it’s usually because I value their existence as being pertinent to my current needs. For example, if Sally walks into a room, I can choose to greet her or not. My decision to greet Sally depends upon whether or not I achieve an end to some means by greeting her. Perhaps that’s why God’s interactions with humans can leave you and characters like ‘Samantha’ and ‘Joe’ feeling unsettled. Did you come across this as you wrote your paper?”

“Yes, except that when I thought about it further, it’s not simply a question about how God chooses to interact with people. I think it’s actually a question of whether God has the power to interact with his creation at all,” she hesitated then said, “right?”

“Yes, right. The focus needs to stay on God’s power.”

“But I do believe that God has the power to interact with his creations in an experiential way. And that’s why in my paper I started to describe the accounts of experiencing God’s power that I discovered when I interviewed my three people.”

“Oh, who did you interview?” I said.

“I interviewed my quad-mate Melissa Crowe, Ginny Drews, and Professor Cassandra.”

“And what did you decide about God’s power to interact with his creation?”

“Well, it’s not like God’s interactions are predictable in content or context, but they do conform to some kind of thematic pattern.”

“What kind of theme did you find?”

“Well it seems like no matter what kind of experience my sources had, their experiences pointed to God’s omnipotence being active in their lives and that his omnipotent actions specifically addressed the needs of each person, even if the way in which each person’s needs were addressed was unexpected. I also discerned certain levels of interaction, from implicit spiritual feelings to explicit demonstrations of God’s power. For example, when Cynthia Cassandra was a little girl, and before she was saved, she would often go and sit in a Catholic parish during lunchtime. She was young and should have been afraid of the darkness of the room and the mysteriousness of all the images of saints and Mary and Jesus, but she felt an overwhelming sense of peace. My friend Melissa felt intense emotion when she committed her life to Christ. She remembers feeling so empty and lost and sad, but when she accepted Jesus as her Savior, she was overcome by an inexplicable sense of love that surrounded her and filled her emptiness inside. Both experiences of God’s power present two distinct cases: a case where God’s power was felt by a non-Christian and a case where God’s power was felt in the conversion from unbelief to new belief as a Christian. Ginny Drews experienced God’s power more on the explicit level of interaction. Sometime after becoming a Christian, Ginny wanted to go on a mission trip to France, but she did not have enough money to go. She prayed for God to provide all of the money, and within two weeks she had a number of people walk up to her a give her money. In this tangible way, God displayed his tangible power to Ginny by meeting her practical need.

“I had the idea that ‘Joe’ would then help bring my paper to a close by becoming frustrated that he had never experienced God’s power like my three friends in his life before,” she stopped and let out a deep breath.

I waited for a few seconds, then asked, “Did you develop a compassionate response to ‘Joe’s’ dilemma?”

“Well, I guess I did. I wrote that God’s seeming lack of power in ‘Joe’s’ life did not reflect an imperfection in God’s omnipotence. I addressed this to ‘Samantha’ as well since she was thinking that a lack of experiencing God’s power makes a belief in God less true. People often miss God’s displays of power. Again, I returned to ideas about God’s perfection, infinite essence, and omnipotent ability to create. The dialogue in the paper here turned into a consideration of further evidence of God’s creative power. ‘Joe’ and ‘Samantha’ had agreed with me that an infinite and divine conception of God includes his omnipotent power to create. I gently asked, or wrote how I asked, ‘Joe’ if he had ever admired a sunrise or enjoyed the stars at night. ‘Joe’ answered yes in the paper. Then I gently explained, ‘Joe,’ that means you have experienced God’s creative power, but there is so much more to God than his power to create and maintain the universe and everything in it.’ He asked me how he was supposed to experience more, and I wrote, ‘You need to have a personal relationship with him. You need to invite him to have more power in and through and over your life.’ I left the dialogue at that. I guess I wanted to imply that ‘Joe’ and ‘Samantha’ could either begin to consider the idea of a relationship with God or decide to reject the idea.”

“Well do you think you can rewrite that for me, by say, next Monday?”

“Yes, but I just wish you could have read the first one,” she said as she got up to leave.

The Best Catch Up

2007-11-25T01:49:00.000-06:00

I know that my updating of this blog is scant at best, so in an effort to make up for the last few months of silence, I would like you all to have an idea of what I have been doing at Bible College all this time. So, the papers may be really academic and boring on the surface, but each paper discusses key issues I believe mature Christians should consider. I hope you enjoy. I will be home in Grand Junction for Christmas Break as soon as December 20th. I look forward to this break so much!

The First Installment of Bible College Papers

2007-11-25T01:45:00.000-06:00

Kid Christmas

Professor Salmeier

Theology I

Case Study – Inerrancy

1 October 2007

Bees in Our Theological Bonnets: A Case Study of the Christian Doctrine of Inerrancy

A young lady named Sheryl has a problem. She finds herself in an academic environment with information flying about like bees in the springtime. Recently, Sheryl has been stung by a bee, and her bee has come in the form of a sticky theological conundrum. One of Sheryl’s professors has been teaching her that the Bible contains errors, yet this professor also claims that the Bible is authoritative, the final word, for daily Christian living. Christians find that many of their foundational beliefs rest within the pages of their holy Bible. Since the Bible is so foundational for Christian belief systems, the Bible is under close scrutiny by many interested individuals and groups. A key debate rages surrounding the doctrine of inerrancy. The Orthodox view of this doctrine claims that the Bible is the plenary, authoritative, and inspired word of God, being the perfect words of a perfect God. Sheryl does not understand how her professor reconciles his belief in errancy with his belief in the authority of the Bible as God’s words to people. Sheryl is not alone in her dilemma, and her situation makes way for a detailed discussion of both sides of the argument. A closer look at the arguments against inerrancy and the rationale supporting inerrancy will help to create an informed view for Sheryl and others who struggle to correlate conflicting messages from errantists and inerrantists.

Errantists claim that the Bible “contains internal contradictions and discrepancies” (Williams 53) that necessarily show the flaws behind the doctrinal position of inerrancy. This claim about the lack of internal coherency in the Bible assumes that the rational belief in inerrancy requires the absolute corroboration of scientific, mathematic, literary, and historical evidence within the Bible itself. Then, the errantist position assumes that if the Bible is internally self-contradictory that the argument for inerrancy becomes null and void. The general layout of an errantist argument then is to highlight the internal conflicts contained within the Bible by making examples of specific passages that demonstrate error. The conclusion then, indeed a persuasive conclusion, is that the doctrine of inerrancy is an a priori construct wherein a man-made idea is forced upon a divine document (71). This would mean that theologians constructed the doctrine of inerrancy before finding sufficient internal scriptural evidence. The errantist position then pushes for a more open view, a redefinition, of the tenets of viewing the Bible as the inspired, plenary, and authoritative words of God. The final claim creates a new “platform for admitting a very human Bible,” meaning a Bible that contains internal errors and contradictions, that is still “authoritative as a witness to God’s revelation in Christ” (73).

However convincing the errantist’s position is, the position argues against two specific views of inerrancy. Specifically, the above errancy argument casts a shadow of doubt upon the extreme fundamentalist’s view of inerrancy. The extreme fundamentalist’s view of the doctrine of inerrancy requires a kind of hyper-defensive stance, necessitating a “harmonizing hermeneutic” (Williams 67) that goes to the extreme of explaining errors using seemingly sub-rational methods. Additionally, the errantist argues that the conservative inerrantist position of “suspended judgment” is equally irrational (Moreland 77). While sub-rational methods might be used in some cases of harmonizing hermeneutics, the position of inerrancy, whether harmonizing or suspended, remains defensible from a rational standpoint.

If a rational position that supports inerrancy in the least accommodates suspended judgment, then belief in inerrancy would be rational. A basis for validating inerrancy is based upon a discussion of the nature of rationality. If a standard that sets the criteria for rationality is established then a person can use that standard to prove the rationality of inerrancy. J.P. Moreland discusses this approach in “The Rationality of Belief in Inerrancy.” His system of rationality is based upon the idea that a person can know a priori a case as more certain than other cases as a reflection of the innate and rational ability humans have to perform the function of knowing. Since humans must be able to know certain things, Moreland uses two technical phrases to explain the rationality of believing. These two phrases are the “presumption of favor” (79) and the “noetic structure” (82). Moreland argues that holding a rational belief requires at least a minimal presumption of favor, or obvious benefit to belief, than no presumption of favor. This idea is tied closely to the paradigm of the noetic structure. The noetic structure is a conceptual model for a belief system wherein a set of beliefs are interconnected like a spider web. The web of beliefs expresses a hierarchy since certain beliefs have a more structurally important role than others in holding the web together. The more “ingressed,” or critically important, a belief is, the more presumed favor that belief retains since changing a key belief would entail restructuring the entire web. The belief in inerrancy is deeply ingressed in several key Christian doctrines. Therefore, according to current noetic structures for most Orthodox Christians, the inerrancy of scripture is a rational belief.

The debate comes to a head when, like Sheryl’s professor, many hold to errancy as well as the authority of Biblical scripture. Authoritative errantists are a seemingly self-contradictory anomaly. However, one may employ the rational strategy of the inerrantist to reconcile such a view. The noetic structure of this view has a different core structure than a strict inerrantist. Authoritative errantists redefine the core issue at stake. Whereas a strict inerrantist holds that the inerrancy of the Bible reflects a perfect God, an authoritative errantist holds that errors in the Bible have no bearing upon the perfection of God. For the authoritative errantists, the key issue is not God’s character, since they believe that the Bible authoritatively reveals God’s character as the standard of righteousness and love and Christ as the ultimate revelation of God’s character (Williams 73). The key issue lies in the idea that the Bible was passed through erring human hands and cannot possibly be technically perfect; however, this idea is supported by the belief that the Bible Christians have today is exactly the Bible God meant them to have, “warts and all” (72), for even if Christians had a perfect collection of God’s words to people, the flawed nature of humanity would prevent correct interpretation just as it does today.

The debate over inerrancy involves a wide spectrum of issues that really seem to be heart issues more than rational issues in the end. From every angle, the debate reflects the problems of human character as revealed by the problems readers of Biblical scripture have discerning God’s character. The extreme inerrantist approaches the doctrine as the lifeboat for the rest of her/his beliefs about God, for God’s perfect character must be taught by a perfect text. This view supports a fearful heart attitude since one must work so anxiously and depend upon inerrancy so much that one does not depend enough upon God. However, the other end of the spectrum holds to the belief that the Bible contains internal as well as external errors. This can lead to a boastful attitude wherein the advocates of that position may begin to think of themselves as there own authority. The authoritative errantist seems to strike a balance between what a person rationally knows as well as the limits of human perspective, but this group too may fall victim to an attitude of apathy since epistemically since they seem to have stepped outside of the debate by redirecting the focus of errance/inerrance from the perfection of scripture to the acceptability of flaws and the authority God has to reveal Himself however He wants. For students like Sheryl, knowledge of the different types of arguments for each viewpoint as well as what is theologically and emotionally at stake hopefully creates an opportunity for Sheryl to talk again with he professor. Knowing that inerrancy is rational may support her in her journey towards finding the answer for herself as well maintaining unity in the Body of Christ by maintaining a peaceful and understanding relationship between her and her professor.

Angeles

2007-09-11T14:06:00.000-05:00

The thing about moving to a new place is that no one knows you. Obvious right? Well, no one knows me in LA, and a funny emotion begins to arise whenever I think about that. So much of my identity is tied to information that other people present to me about myself.
Back home, for example, people I know usually demonstrate my huggability. Also, people usually say nice things to you when they know you, like, "You are talented at this and such," or, "I really like your hair." When you are in a new environment you don't hear those things in the same way. I mean by this that even if someone is saying them to you, that someone is new to me too, and I don't really know if they know me yet. So when I hear the old compliments out of new mouths, they don't carry the same weight. Rather, the same compliments out of new mouths hold a new weight, a precarious weight.
The weight is precarious because I have to decide to trust them or not. I have to decide who I really am again in a strange way. If I start to accept compliments and remarks about my character, habits, and talents here, then I will begin to represent those remarks and compliments, and incidentally, they may not be the same kind of remarks and compliments as the ones I am used to at home. Further, they may be the same, and I have to decide all over again if I really like that.
I stand on the precipice of change. I also stand simultaneously on the precipice of remaining the same. It's really exciting.
On another note for those of you reading this from back home, I love my school. I am making friends with a few really neat girls: Liz, Krysten, Melissa, and Chelsea. Chelsea is my roommate, and we couldn't be better suited to each other. I already admire my professors. It's so different to be in an environment where my passions and the passions of my professors run together in the same stream. Each class is an absolute joy, and my mind is full of explosions of new information that will forever change how I read, discuss, and write about Biblical literature. My coursework will all be very challenging but ultimately satisfying for what I will be learning and practicing.
Also, I need prayer for a few items:
1. A car
2. A stipend from my internship
3. Favor with President Dan
4. Vision
I am enjoying the process of re-self-discovery in my new environment. The food is good, and it's lunchtime right now. A college student has got to eat!

The Work Finished

2007-08-27T00:18:00.000-05:00

In Progress

2007-08-23T03:02:00.000-05:00

Here is a quick update picture of my mural in progress. The picture is on a 9'x7' canvas that will hang on the wall of a prayer room I am decorating. It's huge. And I love it. I am using ground vine charcoal as the base (over a gesso'd canvas) then lifting the charcoal using kneaded erasers. The image represents the burning coal which the seraphim used to purify Isaiah so that Isaiah would realize his unrighteousness, repent, and heed the call that God placed on his life to be a prophet to the nation of Israel. By the way, it's really hard to draw a convincing piece of burning coal...ironic since I am using coal to draw the thing anyway. More pictures of the finished product will be up by Saturday at the latest.

Slowly, Oh So Slowly

2007-08-16T23:04:00.001-05:00

I have been to Honduras and back already. My good friend Carrie got married. Taylor, the eight year old I tutor, starts school on Monday, so our counting by twos and phonics lessons are over for now. This coming Sunday is the last Sunday I will lead worship at my church. And next Friday (August 24) is the day I unveil the art project of my summer - a prayer room I am decorating from wall to wall with curtains, a mural, and pleasant places to sit. Whew. Then I start packing. Yes, I am going to California after all. But before I tell you how it came about that I am going to the land of movies, vineyards, and tans, I would like to relay a few details about my missions trip to Honduras.

Apparently, the airport in Tegucigalpa, Honduras has the shortest and therefore one of the most dangerous landing strips in the world. Tegucigalpa is surrounded by mountains on all sides, so the pilot must be capable of flying the plane into what is essentially a little bowl by banking hard to the left, swooping low, and straightening the plane out quickly enough to land immediately. The plane I rode in touched down so softly that I applauded.
From Tegucigalpa, I and the team hopped into a bus the size of my 1989 Toyota Van (but with 15 seats to my 7) that puttered through a couple mountain passes until we reached our destination city: Comayagua. Picture any developing country (shacks, trash, random sewage in streets, countless bone-thin dogs, etc) and then add humidity, lush plants, and lots of narrow streets, and you'll have a sense of Comayagua. We spent a few hours at the Hotel Quan before heading out to a barrio church (poor church in a poor neighborhood). We began our week by singing songs in Spanish, watching geckos crawl on the walls during the sermon, and praying for the members of this small church. The rest of the week was spent passing out candy, making balloon animals, face-painting, and singing/dancing in various settings.
We worked mainly with three different organizations: Ruach International Christian Academy, Chosen Boys Orphanage, and the Jardin de los Ninos in the small town of San Antonio (just outside of Comayagua). Really, the goal of our trip was to encourage, pray for, and help the missionaries to whom we are already deeply connected and supportive. My favorite event involved a teacher's retreat that we helped sponsor and host. The retreat provided an entire weekend of spa-like treatment of the teachers from RICA. Those ladies and gentlemen pour themselves into their students but they have never been re-filled in return. I came to love the teachers at RICA. I hope to teach alongside them in the future.
When I returned from Honduras, my gut-reaction was to feel homesick for that great big elsewhere. The most invigorating part of the trip was the feeling I have of coming alive whenever I am on foreign soil. I like change and uncertainty because these two words swell with opportunity for personal growth, and walking foreign streets brings change and uncertainty with every step and breath. So I felt homesick for elsewhere. But then I started thinking again about all the here and now events...like whether I am going to LIFE Pacific College in a couple of weeks.
Since I sent in my application to LIFE, I made a commitment not to take out student loans to pay for my time there. Slowly, oh so slowly, scholarships have been accumulating, but before I went to Honduras, I still needed 1/3 of the total cost of education to miraculously show up. Well, I spent four days waiting and praying, nice and steady. I knew that if God wanted me to go to California by September 1st that He would provide 100%. On Thursday, three days after my return, I received a letter from the Christian Community Credit Union (read my scholarship essay below) awarding me a sizable scholarship. The following 36 hours continued to make my head spin. Three timely phone calls and one evening spent with friends ended with miraculous monetary tallies, so I am going to LIFE after all.
My going to LIFE is six years in the making. I am so excited.

If I Am a Vessel

2007-07-03T02:36:00.000-05:00

The following is a scholarship essay I wrote to Christian Community Credit Union, which is right down the street from my college in California. I am posting this so that those reading my blog may pray with me that God will provide all of the money for school in California. Also, I think writing this essay was a helpful trip through time for me, reminding me of God's sovereignty and faithfulness.

The following testimonies tell the story of how my ministry giftings of friendship, joy, faithfulness, teaching, worship, and prayer have influenced the direction of my life by taking me from a place of simple moral living to a place of active ministry wherever I am. As UN Ambassador Dag Hammarskjöld wrote in his diary, “I am the vessel. The draught is God’s. And God is the thirsty one.” I like to think of my life, the sum of my talents, time, and resources, as a drink offering poured out for my Father in heaven. I know that God has called me into full-time ministry. For this reason, I am asking CCCU to assist me in receiving further training for my future of ministry by financially supporting my decision to attend LIFE Pacific Bible College this September. I hope that you, reader, will be blessed by a stirring of excitement in your spirit for how God is calling you and I to do spend our lives on bringing the peace, joy, and righteousness of the Kingdom to the earth.

The story of my first missions trip isn’t about how I fundraised throughout Spring in order to go to Costa Rica with Teen Mania over the Summer. Rather, my mother and I had planned to tour East Asia together since I was in the seventh grade. We embarked upon a 17-day blazing tour of China the summer before my senior year in high school. I did not set out for a real missions trip experience, but the missions part happened spontaneously. After a few days in China, I ended up on a boat on the Yangtze River for a five day cruise. I made my first Chinese friend on that boat ride; her English name was Shirley. For several hours each day, I told her about America, and she told me about tea. I told her about Jesus on the last day of the cruise and gave her my Bible. Shirley only sent me two e-mails after the trip before we lost touch, but I still pray that she kept my Bible and knows Jesus now.

I returned from China to finish my last year of high school with the hope of attending a LIFE Pacific Bible College to learn about being an English-teaching missionary to China, but the timing was not right for Bible college since I could not afford to go to school so far away from Colorado. I stayed in my home town and applied to the local college, and God blessed me with a full-ride scholarship. In 2004, I was abundantly blessed with a large amount of leftover, yes its true, scholarship money of which I had no need. I asked God how I should use it. The next day, I bumped into a friend that told me about a mission trip to East Asia that summer. Right then, God said “go.” I went to East Asia and spent two months teaching English and sharing the gospel through friendship evangelism. I feel as though the blessing of the decision to spend the money on missions, it’s all God’s anyway, is multiplying even now since I still receive e-mails from my students I taught that summer.

After the missions trip to East Asia, I continued my studies at Mesa State College. I am a strong student because I work hard and steward my time to reflect the value I place upon honoring God in everything I do. I graduated this Spring as a Summa Cum Laude with a degree BA in English Literature, a degree that can get me back to China to teach English, but I know that I learned more about how to use my talents right here and now. I maintain a strong bent towards overseas missions, a heart that loves people has no borders, but I have gained a vision for ministry right here in the United States. My generation has quickly slipped out of the minds and hands of the church today. I long to rejuvenate the Church for my generation and for God’s glory.

I feel I used the last four years at my public college to learn about living a missional lifestyle wherever I am. I have been involved in several fun campus ministries, but I found the most exciting witness happens spontaneously, like my first missions trip, while in the classroom, cafeteria, library, or while taking day-old pastries from my workplace and delivering them to my poor and hungry college friends. Attending a public college confronted me with the challenges of evangelizing in a secular environment and proved a difficult but wonderful training ground. I used my time on campus to be a student of the lost, learning how they view the world. Much of my learning took place in the college dorms.

Ironically, I never actually lived in the dorms, but my friends did. I spent almost as much time at the dorms as I did my own house. Campus Crusade would invade the dorms with a “trash” and “cookie” ministry once a month. We would knock on students’ doors and offer to take their trash out for them. Similarly we would knock on doors, pass out cookies, and invite the students to an outdoor event, usually something like paintball, capture the flag, or sledding. I enjoyed these times because we became servants to those in the dorms, but what I enjoyed most were the times I spent serving with my good friend Wendy.

Over the course of two years, Wendy was a Resident Assistant and a Resident Director. Both positions entailed looking after fellow dorm students, enforcing rules, and being a listening ear. I loved helping Wendy do her job. She and I would host tea parties and movie nights. A few times we went around cleaning residents’ bathrooms. And most often, Wendy and I would stay awake late into the night, walking the dorm halls and praying over each room. She fought on the front lines, and I was there beside her for those two years. Last summer, Wendy decided to leave Grand Junction to attend a Christian leadership training school called 24-7. I believe so much in the call God has placed on her life, so I did my best to help her fundraise for 24-7. I threw a two-day yard sale and was able to help raise over $500 for her. My relationship with Wendy is just one example of several meaningful relationships I built while in college. The way I used my time and talents during college to bless others was through building committed and healthy friendships. God is relational, and he works in community, in between brothers and sisters in Christ – we are the Church after all.

I live missionally in the world, but I also believe that the Church is still the Bride of Christ and therefore His number one partner in changing the world with the redemptive gospel message. I have spent many hours mentoring the youth of my church, praying, teaching, and participating on the worship team. Even this summer I am going with my church to Honduras to visit the orphanage and school we financially support. Once there I will teach crafts to the children, lead worship in Spanish and English, and help instruct a group of teachers in understanding the “Spirit-filled life” and the “prophetic.” I am excited about this opportunity to finally use all of the Spanish I studied in high school and college to teach and encourage my Honduran brothers and sisters in Christ.

This year the long story of my desire to be trained for ministry is coming full-circle. In March of 2006, I began asking God what I was to do after college. Three days later, I received an e-mail from LIFE Pacific Bible College that reopened my pursuit of formal ministry training. I stand firm in the belief that I should not take out loans to pay for this second round of college, but I know that God has called me to a time of ministry training at LIFE. Proverbs 22:7 says that the “borrower is slave to the lender.” I know debt limits my ability to follow God anywhere in ministry. I believe that a scholarship from CCCU will enable me to run towards the calling God has placed upon my life to minister through missions, worship, teaching, and prayer to the joy-less in the church community and in the world. I appreciate the scholarship committee’s consideration of my testimony. God is good. His will be done.

It's Summertime

2007-07-01T00:30:00.001-05:00

I don’t know. Over the past two or three weeks I have not been able to make up my mind, but tonight I straightened my thoughts out enough to say, “I don’t know.” You see, I sent out a thank you letter to all of my friends and family that blessed me with a graduation card and/or gift. In the letter (you may view it below under “Upward and Onward”) I state that I feel confident that Life Bible College is the place for me in the fall.

I have been working full-time at Starbucks and doing multiple part-time jobs in order to save lots of money this summer. So far so good. Except, all the working and no sleeping I am doing is affecting my health. No, I am not hospital-sick, but I do need to rest which means not working as much which means less money which means more trust from me. I have to trust that if God wants me to be in California in the fall, He’s going to make it happen regardless of whether I clock 50 hours of work a week.

That being said, my brother and I had an amazing talk tonight within which we discussed the benefit of not setting your goals/plans too high. This sounds contrary and suspicious, doesn’t it? When I bother to make plans by saying:

“God, either I go to California”

“I stay in Grand Junction.”

The thing is, that limits God to two choices when neither might be the choice.

So I realized how limited my view is and how big God’s views are. I would prefer neither choice if God has something better. I can’t force California to happen. It’s time to rest a little. It’s summertime after all.

Shouldering My World

2007-06-04T12:29:00.000-05:00

Last night I tried to clean out my closet. I never realized how many t-shirts hold sentimental value for me. I have so many homemade shirts from high school that I keep thinking my kids (you know, the ones I don't have yet) might get a kick out of wearing someday. Anyway, two bags later, my closet was a little emptier. My thoughts keep turning to California and Bible college. If my biggest problem is worrying about which clothes I can take and which clothes I must leave behind, then I am certainly faced with a weak middle class problem. And yet, for this weak sauce problem, I am deeply thankful.

On that note, my new "urban adventure" backpack arrived in the mail today. It's like a hiking pack but designed for airport travel (fewer straps) and hostel stays. It's bigger than I thought it would be, but it's also small in the sense that I will be trying to fit a week's worth of sunscreen, bug-spray, and clothes in it for my trip to Honduras with my church this summer. I am contemplating sending it back and getting the bigger 75 liter version. First, I will try to pack it with everything I think I will need for a one week trip and see how that goes because I know if I have the extra room I may use it for useless extras that probably do not need to make the thousands of miles trip to Honduras.

Upward and Onward

2007-06-03T20:15:00.000-05:00

I am following my last letter up with a tale of my graduation day. Even though the left side of my face felt hot, I did not get sunburned on graduation day, but that’s not the best part. The best part was how magnified with meaning each experience of the day became.

I marched into the stadium to the flash of my mom’s camera and the smiles of my professors with my best friends in front and behind. The speeches were short (both under five minutes). The graduation song as sung by graduating choir members was horribly over-done but equally passionate and dripping with optimism (all about songs in our hearts and singing at the top of our lungs). The ceremony wrapped up with me and the other smarty-pants-students of the class of 2007 standing in front of our class and leading them in the turning of tassels. But I did not throw off my cap; I held on to my cap like I am holding on the sweet moments of that day.

My graduation party followed. I ate and visited with guests for nearly six hours. Besides being full of food, I was also full of joy and thankfulness at the end of the day. And now I keep thinking I have all of this homework to do, but I don’t. I ran the race of college to completion. Perhaps the finality of it all is what strikes me the most. This diploma means Phase 1 of life is over. Phase 2, the “rest of my life” phase, is wide open and gloriously appointed with choices and opportunity and joy and sorrow and the pulp of 21 years (22 on May 29) of accumulated potential.

Someone told me on Saturday that my graduation made him think how he has fewer days in front of him than days left behind. Assuming that I do in fact still have more days in front of me than the ones I have left behind (they disappear so quickly), I want to be as thankful for each day as I was for my graduation day.

Many asked me on Saturday if I had made any decisions about Bible college. An inscription on a graduation card reminded me that “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1). I realize that I have been hoping to go to LIFE Pacific Bible College in San Dimas, CA since I was a junior in high school, so if my hope can stand as a symbol for something sure and certain then I need to go one step further. I am deciding in faith that I will go to LIFE in the fall. It is no accident that LIFE has been the school in my heart for these last five years, and I know that God will provide for me to go to the place(s) where He is sending me.

On that note, I am going to Honduras for a week this summer with my church. We will be breaking ground in a yet un-reached area outside of the city Comayagua. I will have opportunities to teach English and lead worship in Spanish! I desire to have at least five committed prayer partners to pray for me, (health, safety, ministry, and spiritual growth), the team (unity), and the Hondurans I have yet to meet. If any of you are expressly interested in learning more about the trip to Honduras and committing to pray for the team while there (July 28-Aug 5), please call or write or e-mail me immediately.

Thank you to each of you that celebrated with me on Saturday. And to those that sent me their love in a card, thank you for being there in spirit.