God in a Hurry

We've all heard that certain evangelical strain of pathos: "Thousands are dying without Christ every second" or "Let's finish preaching the gospel in one generation so that the end may finally come!" Yeah, as if I needed to put any more pressure on myself. I have been reading J.B. Phillips' book Your God Is Too Small for the last few days. The book was written in 1952 but aptly categorizes the many false gods or images of God that many "modern" people hold. I do not know the punchline of the book yet - the pithy ending where Phillips tells me how I might open up my view of God to be larger - but his descriptions of the small gods people serve (or avoid) have unmasked several points of small-mindedness within my own view of God.

The most poignant example for me has been Phillips description of the "God in a Hurry" conception of God. When I am being particularly hard on myself (and when am I not), I end up feeling something like a trusty little red wagon that God has piled all his hopes and dreams up in for the Kingdom. Yes, to an extent, "Christ in me the hope of glory," is the equivalent of having all of the glory, honor, and miraculous potential of God's cherished Son in my wagon, but I so easily mistake my "light load" for something heavy.

I have been in a hurry for most of my evangelical Christian experience. Eagerly I read my Bible, go to Church, do good things, and try to shine my bright light for others to see so that I may somehow graduate to the next level of spiritual maturity. I want to do miracles. I want to see people changed and freed and loved. I want to see the kingdom of this world crumble in the face of a powerful Kingdom of God restoring order to all creation. Yet I forget, as Phillips writes, the "quietness of Christ."

When Jesus was hanging in Bethany across the Jordan teaching and healing, his good friend Lazarus passed away. As God incarnate, he probably knew Lazarus was dying, but the messenger did not probably reach Jesus until Lazarus had already falled into eternal sleep. Even so, Jesus still waiting another day to depart to the other Bethany. His disciples were worried he would be killed by outraged Jews in the city of Bethany where Lazarus had lived. Anyway, Jesus finished what he was doing (purposefully) in Bethany across the Jordan before bravely returning to the home of his friend. We know how the story turns out. Jesus shows death to the door and welcomes Lazarus back to the living.

It's easy to see Jesus as some kind of Greek hero going here and there, escaping death, feeding thousands, healing hundreds (or more), and making friends with the lowly. It's easy for me to think that as a "little Christ," I should be here and there, escaping death, feeding thousands, and healing the sick, and befriending the lowliest. I have been told to do that my whole life. Now. Quickly. It's urgent. Don't stop. Don't look back.

Not surprisingly, I am no match for my conceptions of "God in a Hurry" and my visions of "Kid Christmas in a Hurry."

I want to re-aquaint myself with the purposeful kind of God who puts me where He needs me when He needs me there. I also want to believe in a God that will patiently wait for me to not only hear His voice but obey His voice instead of frantically following my own plans.

This is the theme of my time in FrXc0, CO. Slow Down. Stop being so hard on yourself. God is not in a hurry. So I should not be either.

To quote from a recent favorite song:

Why must I negotiate
Why must I think You hold my fate dangling from a string that's worn and frayed
I used to think, it was all mapped out
While I stayed the course, You rethought the route
When lost for good, I tried to sort it out alone

But now You're here
Oh what love I've found
You found me, my days rewound
I need Your love more than I need to understand
If I could I would fall backwards...
I think I'm falling backwards

fin

My First Blog

So, however long ago when I started this blog, I imagined I would fill it with the interesting details of my soon to be ever-so-adventerous life. I planned to be in China touring and teaching English, savoring the culture and learning to share my faith as easy as breathing in and out.

I still live in Colorado. I just got married. Sharing my faith is a challenge. And China is really far off. Honestly, it's still a bit shocking. But strangely ok.

Kicking the Whirlwind for me has meant letting go of all the plans I had made for myself, plans which I thought were god-given but were actually me-driven. For me, being accomplished meant being a missionary and teaching people about Jesus. Now, I'm not sure what it means to be accomplished, but I have bravely tried many new things in the last few years:

1. Taking a scholarship opportunity in S. California at a Bible College for one year
2. Grant writing and non-profit fundraising
3. Working for a home inspector and helping to grow his business
4. Redefining my idea of Church and the Body of Christ
5. Meeting, loving, and marrying the best gift God has ever given me - my husband Chris

I've only been married for nine days, but there is a great sense of adventure in joining myself to Chris because God has combined our likes and passions in such a way as to make for a much bigger whirlwind. Somewhere in Ecclesiastes 4 the verses say something like: "Two are better than one, for if one falls down, the other can help him up. Likewise, if one is cold, two can keep warm together. Two can also fight off their enemy. Finally, a chord of three strands is not easily broken."

Chris and I will kick our whirlwind together. We want to bravely seek out the Lord's plans, even if that means giving up a great deal of security to wander nomadically together in search of the place God has for us.

Well, there you have it - my first blog as a married woman.

wrtign bleh

I am forming a theory...that I don't want to grant write anymore because I have been forcing myself to write so many pieces that I don't care about for the last 14 years. School has done this to me. I hate writing assignments that do not mean anything to me. Bleh. Can I be burnt out? Can I be finished for a while.

Perhaps after a time passes, I will want to pick up the pen again.

Truth is, I won't stop writing. I just don't want to write about topics and for purposes that mean nothing to me.

Irony? I had to write to say this.

Economics of the heart...

Does change inevitably mean a low tide of emotions? I woke up and discovered suddenly that I had made a life here in the Fort. I am pestered by my attachment to people and places.



I was in a hurry to decide and go, but now I find I will be carrying many things with me...even missings and rebuttles that will never now have a chance to be argued.

Opportunity cost is something my twelfth grade Economics teacher taught me. How did I know then that Economics of the heart would bring the lesson home?

"So they pulled their boats up on the shore..."

When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus' knees and said, "Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!" For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon's partners.
Then Jesus said to Simon, "Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men." So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him. (Luke5: 8-11)



The pastor had spoken about Jesus calling Peter from a livelihood of catching fish to a life of catching people. He emphasized that the remarkable portion of the passage was not simply that Peter's impression of Jesus as a wise Rabbi caused him to cast out to sea after an already long and fruitless night spent fishing. The remarkable part wasn't even that Peter and Jesus caught so many fish. Nor was it that Peter profoundly realized ("Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!") that Jesus was someone more than a wise Rabbi. No. The crashing epicenter of this story was the probable history from which Jesus redeemed Peter instantly.

He expounded further that Peter was probably in his early twenties when this exchange between he and Jesus took place, which means he had been out of Hebrew school since he was Bar-mitzvah'd at the age of twelve. Only the few, the proud, and the ingenious were chosen to continue past Hebrew school into a selective process that would eventually yield one or two young people to be the follower of a Rabbi. Peter, who had already spent years in a worthwhile trade was not exactly the type to be a Rabbi follower. Yet right then, Jesus picked Peter out, set him apart, and called him to be his follower, telling him, "From now on you will catch people."

I listened to that sermon closely and sensed a timely message hidden for me in the pastor's words. I thought, "I want so very badly to be a catcher of people," and then I heard it all so clearly in my heart.

"Noelle, put down your net. After all, you are a catcher of people."

Isn't it funny how much influence pastors have? Later that same Sunday, I ruminated more about the sermon and remembered something another pastor once told me. "Noelle, if they stick you in some corner and expect you to write for eight hours a day, you won't be happy. That would be the worst thing for you."

No cruel person intentionally stuck me in a corner and commanded me to write for the last seven months. I have been working for a wonderful company that is a key participant in bringing God's Kingdom to earth in the darkest parts of our world. I serve under leaders who have victoriously walked through the lowest of valleys over the last year, spending their every ounce of strength fighting to keep the ministry financially stable so that our English teachers can continue living as salt and light in Asia. However, as much as I personally am passionate about evangelism and discipleship in Asia, as much as I have the skill to write fundraising documents, and as much as I love new adventures, this first adventure into the working world has revealed a great deal about who God has created me to be.

I love people. I love the Church. I love the spirit-led influence pastors have on their flocks.

On Monday, May 18, 2009, I turned in my formal letter of resignation from my position of Advancement Grant Writer. After much prayer and seeking the Lord and the wise counsel of others around me, I have decided to return to Grand Junction in order to be closer to my core spiritual community, my family, my boyfriend...and hopefully to pursuing more closely my call. This is not as much of a total change of direction as much as it is a redirection to a more specific goal. What would this adventure have been worth unless it allowed God to refine me and the call He has for me?

The Lord has graciously already opened several opportunities for meaningful work, a possible living situation, and a chance to actively serve my local church body (yay!). Please pray that the Lord would clearly open the door to my next job. Ask that I would finish well at my current job. If you live in Grand Junction, start looking for me around the beginning of July! I am energized by the new possibilities.

Leaving Fort Collins will be bittersweet in many ways. I have met some wonderful people (hopefully you know who you are) with whom I hope to continue friendships long after I have returned to Grand Junction. I am grateful that someone took a chance by hiring a young kid to write fundraising proposals asking for millions of dollars from people she may never meet. I hope to continue maturing the skills I have in grant writing so that more of the world's money can be transferred into the Kingdom while taking a more active ministry role in my local community.

Fort Collins was a wonderful place to be, but my roots are not here...my roots are on a different shoreline and in a call to be a catcher of people in a different sea.

Post Script:
I want to give a special thank you for all your prayers over this last year of major personal transitions. From health issues to trying to answer the question "what should I do after college?" you each have been there right beside me in support and prayer. Your prayers have moved heaven on my behalf on many an occasion. My health continues to improve greatly. I even find that I am able to eat grains occasionally without terrible side effects. Many of my body aches and pains have subsided and I am able to ride my bike more than a couple miles without collapsing. I can now ride upwards of 12 miles. I am hiking and walking and running. All of this is a testimony to greatly increased energy and stamina through God's healing hand. The Lord has provided for me financially. I also am continuing to grow in my walk with the Lord, which is the ultimate blessing. I am so thankful for God's goodness and your faithfulness! May He continue to bring me to your mind and heart in my times of need. May He also continue to bring you to my mind and heart in your times of need.

Kite Flying

On Sunday, I went to the park just down the street from my house in Fort Collins to try out my new kite. The blue sky contrasted the golden-crunchy grass, and I knelt down to open up my kite case to start putting its seven-foot, rainbow-colored awesomeness together. Several attempts to catch the wind by letting the kite float lightly and take off running failed.

I heard someone about thirty yards away chuckle to a companion, "Failure to launch." I just ignored the comment and kept trying.

Another man walked by a few minutes later and said, "Any luck? Doesn't seem windy enough today."

The wind never did start to gust enough. I stuffed the kite back in its case and rewound the kite string. On Thursday of last week, I felt like a crashed kite missing the wind that usually pushes it higher. I returned home from almost two weeks of spending holidays with people that felt more like home to me than my new home in Fort Collins. A friend called this "re-entry shock" to normal, post-holiday life. Fort Collins does not quite feel like home yet. I know the wind will pick up again, but there will be days, even beautiful days spent in parks, when the wind just will not blow. So it goes.

As far as work goes, my boss's assistant was "let-go" last Friday. This is a difficult blow because she performs so many vital tasks. Many of her duties will fall to me in the coming weeks. We need to hire two on-site Advancement workers but they may not be hired for several months. Please pray that ELIC's Advancement department can continue to successfully bring in the necessary funds in light of economic and organizational deficits.

After the last update e-mail update, several of you asked how Chris and I are doing. He and I spent Christmas with his family in Kansas. I had a delightful time getting to know not only his parents but his extended family too. I must have met about forty people, including some of Chris's dearest high school/college buddies. It was wonderful to meet the people and see the places that shaped who Chris is today. We continue to see each other several times a month, both of us travelling back and forth over weekends.

Regarding my health, I broke the no sugar/no grains diet during the holiday season, but interestingly, did not feel awful. I think I am starting to see some healing and am once again returning to a more strict diet. I believe I will see permanent healing from God's hand and from faithfully following the diet.

For those of you that do pray for me, please continue to lift my health and my relationship up - great things are happening in both these areas of my life! At work, some days are harder than others. The leanness of my department at work provides a multitude of opportunities to learn problem solving skills and teamwork. Please pray for peace, cooperation, endurance, favor, and wisdom to flow through me.

As always, I love to hear how each of you are doing, even if I do not have the chance to respond immediately to your e-mails. I pray the Lord is showing you His design for the New Year!

Date Bars

There are many jokes to be made out of the phrase "date bars."

Ex1:
"I'm going home to make date bars tonight."
"You're going to what?
and
Ex2:
"I'm going home to make date bars tonight."
"You've been doing that a lot lately. It must be working out well for you."
and
Ex3:
"I'm going home to make date bars tonight."
"What? You're going to bars to find dates and make out?"

Those are just a few examples. I am sure you can only imagine the other possibilities. However, "I'm going home to make date bars" has fallen from my lips several times this last week, and today I succeeded. I love Larabars - an energy-type delicious bar wrapped in clever packaging - and every Larabar usually only has 2-5 ingredients. I decided I wanted to try my hand at making them when it became impossible for me to eat less than one a day.

So off I went to Wal-Mart to find dates, almonds, and coconut. Mmmm, coconut. Then, the experiments began. My friend Bethany suggested I boil the dates so as to make them a stickier binding agent. Then I chopped up the almonds and coconut in a food processor. I combined the boiled dates with the dry ingredients (including a dash of cinnamon) and food-processed it more.

I then tried several different baking methods at varying temperatures and times. I finally settled on the following method:

Grease cookie tray
Roll mixture into little balls
Place on try
Press flat with bottom of cup (to 1/2 inch thick or so)
Bake at 315 for 30 minutes
Eat

I am so excited that I unlocked the secret to my own Larabar version. In fact, I believe the Larabar company must dehydrate or otherwise slowly cook the bars because they do not have the baked texture, making my little cakes totally original.

I shall call them:

Noellabars

Ingredients: Dates, Almonds, Coconut, Cinammon, Elbow Grease, Ingenuity, Love

200 Calories of
non-gluten, anti-processed sugar, dairy-free, potato-free, corn/corn-syrup/other-corn-derivatives-free, legume-free
BLISS

Post Christmas Party Joy

I just had my first Christmas office party. It's so great to be part of an organization that celebrates the heart of Christmas. Further, I led us in singing two Christmas carols. How does it get any better than that? Five or six years ago, I wouldn't have imagined being able to play Christmas tunes on a piano let alone sing and play. It gives me such great joy each time I have the privilege to provide this service for people. It is one thing that makes my heart sing.

This week has been a bustle of activity for me since I realized the need to buy all my Christmas presents before I go home to GJ for the weekend. The coming weekend at home will be the last time I see certain friends and family until after Christmas and New Years. I hope to make this weekend as special as can be.

Now I should actually start working again. I just needed to express the joy of a day well-spent so far.

PS: Here is a picture I really like -

I keep imagining elements of the Christmas story in different ways this year. Like, what if the angels came to some Mongolian goatherders. The shepherds that first visited Jesus must have been really dirty and smelly from being out in the fields. Even baby Jesus - I often picture him with open eyes, looking angelic, and smiling up at the shepherds. Well, if they visited him right after his birth, he probably couldn't open his eyes yet. He couldn't hear the noises going on around him well. All Jesus could do a few weeks after his birth was sleep, eat, cry, and gurgle. Baby Jesus was totally helpless - born into a grimy barn to road-wearied parents. I love thinking about this.

Believe in Someone Today - You May Change a Life

I just checked my work e-mail. Lame. You know you are new in town when you don't have anything to do on a Wednesday night except watch "Pushing Daisies" on abc.com and take a few moments to edit a letter for a co-worker. Yep.

So to the news. I have a new job. I am the Advancement Writer for ELIC, a non-profit that sends English teachers to Asia. If you want more information than that, then you'll have to ask me in person. My job is kind of top secret...or on the dl...or must submit to the CG (correspondence guidelines) set forth by ELIC. Yep. We're not newsmakers, and we'd like to keep it that way.

The excitement I have for this job is truly true, however. If I could have written, directed, and cast my own first real job in the real big adult world, I would have been hard pressed to develop something as well-suited to my skills and interests as being the Advancement Writer for ELIC. It combines my people, writing, editing, and managing skills in one role. Plus, I get to be extremely nerdy about words and research.

Further, I have learned that most people are good at heart.

I pondered often when I was waiting to hear about this job, two months of pondering and waiting to hear, if I was qualified enough. I pondered how I performed at the initial interview. I also pondered if sending my new boss two personality profiles (I'm an S-I-C on the DISC test, btw), four more writing samples, calling, and several e-mails would be too much. After all, he did ask me to send him anything and call with thoughtful discussion questions regarding the job.

So I did. I pondered and I was over-actively persistent. My now-boss terms my obsessive persistence "showing initiative." After three and one-half days on the job, he asked me what I really thought. He wanted to know the "true dirt" I had told my good friends and mom up to that point - first impressions about the job and such. So I ever so delicately ventured,

"I feel like I have been lifted out of nothing and given something," heavily emphasizing the something in a positive manner.

And here is what he said,

"Sometimes we just need someone who will believe in us and give us a chance no one else will."

Then he back-peddled,

"I have full-confidence you can do this job well based upon your leadership skills, writing skills, people skills, and self-starting attitude, but not everyone would have given you this job."

Truth be told, the other person they considered strongly for the job of Advancement Writer had a journalism degree, one-year of teaching experience in Asia, grant-writing experience, and had actually published some writing. Me, with my English degree, no grant-writing experience, two months of teaching experience in Asia, and no published pieces, should have been an obvious "no."

But then there is grace. My boss's wife told me at the new office building dedication ceremony ELIC held last Thursday evening that there really was not any competition. Her husband preferred me from the start. Plus, she told him my writing was better.

I am not writing that to sound cheeky, but here are my take-aways (a business-y term I picked up this week, meaning most important ideas to put in your tool bag and utilize when most efficient):

1. First impressions count.

2. Persistence pays out.

3. Be hungry.

4. Show initiative.

5. Never give up in the face of giants.

6. Believe you are the best you that you can be.

7. Say yes when opportunity knocks.

8. Be ruthlessly honest.

9. Be yourself.

10. Don't be afraid to show some emotion during an interview.

11. Venturing out into the real world is fun.

12. Always be inspired by your close friends.

13. Know that love is a constant.

14. Fear not.

15. Embrace the new.

I dedicate this blog-entry to Carrington Schaeffer for always encouraging me to write. Thanks pal.

PS I have a boyfriend. More on that later, but for now, know that waiting two months to hear about this job just may have been perfect timing in more ways than one.

A Little Slow on the Uptake

Well, I am no longer between California and Colorado, just Colorado for now.  I decided not to return to school in order to take care of some health issues I have been having - possible Celiac or some acute allergies to wheat and other mystery foods.  

I am not avid blogger.  I am sure if you check this blog ever, you will notice the inconsistency of my entries.  Whelp, I simply journal a lot on paper.  

Beyond the prior prattle, I am beginning to settle in to home again...although "home" in and of itself is an ambiguous term for me right now.  I am not living at home with the parental, nor am I really living anywhere for certain, just kind of floating from one twin bed to the next.  I hope to hear back from a Denver friend with the ok to move into her parental's basement for the next few months.  

Job interviews are great.  I love to talk to people, a quality, which incidentally may not work out so well at a law office that's interested in hiring me.  They are all down to business there.  All two of them.  It should be interesting and fun, but slightly more quiet than what I am accustomed to.  

In the meantime, I am taking time to re-establish old connections, make new ones, and start my own house-cleaning business.  I hope to visit a professor, an old travel buddy, and a best friend before the week in over.  I will also go geo-caching with a few new friends I met last week at a college Bible study group.  Then, it's re-connect time with the bff.  All in all, settling in isn't so bad.  

Ticket Genius

Let's face it, gas prices are only going up and up, which also means plane tickets are going up and up. Tonight I looked for a one-way ticket from GJ to Ontario, CA (20 minutes from my school) and found tickets no less than 300 buckeroos and up to 550 buckeroos. I was not having this, so I tried to get creative. If you live in GJ, you may know that there are Las Vegas flights on Thursdays and Sundays. So, I checked them out. $141. How does that get me closer to Ontario?
Enter Southwest Airlines. This airline has a "Wanna Get Away" ticket category. And get this - I found a ticket from Las Vegas to Ontario for $69. Yes! What great success. It gets even better...the lay-over time is only an hour and ten minutes between flights. I have just enough time to sip a Naked Juice and a read a chapter in a book. Sweet genius. I lose a day at home, but I save almost $300. I can live with that.

Change or Rest Until You Get Up

Well, the whole going to Honduras for the summer just became really different. I am still going down to Honduras, but instead of staying there until the end of June, I am staying until the end of May, which is quite the change from my original plans I wrote about in my newsletter. The dust is still settling, and to be honest, I do not know how best to express what has happened to me this week as far as my plans changing! :) (it's all good, by the way).
On Monday, one of my professors said something very frank to me. She said that she would not take me out on the field right now if she were my team leader because of how tired I am. Wow. That hit me like a load of bricks - a pleasant load of bricks in the shape of hearts. She noticed acutely that I am on my way to being a "ministry casualty." The Lord has been telling me all year to rest. I must humbly admit that I do not know how to rest. I have tried to rest, but resting is so foreign to me that I have pretty much failed at it. But God is gracious. He is giving me the opportunity to respond to Him and use wisdom. Learning to rest is perhaps one of the greatest challenges culturally for Americans and especially for those within service-oriented occupations such as pastoring. If I do not learn how to rest and care for myself now, I will probably never have such a gracious window of time as the coming summer.
I am now flying home May 29th, in time for my cousin Andrew's wedding. I have not seen all of my cousins all-together for almost eleven years, which is almost criminal! Then I plan to seek the Lord in deep rest for the remainder of my summer. I know I am not supposed to work, and God has even told me not to stress out looking and applying for scholarships for school next year. His mandate is simply difficult: rest!!!
I will still be leaving for Honduras on May 18th, so even though my stay in Honduras is much shortened, I need to raise $1000. Air travel is expensive in contrast to the relatively low cost of staying in Honduras for a week and a half. I am growing accustomed to the idea of not being in Honduras, and I know there will always be opportunities to return there. However, I am learning that if I do not take much needed opportunities for rest, I may not have future ministry opportunities.
There is still a need for prayer and financial support, but both are being modified to fit this new situation. Even though I will be at home for most of the summer, I still need prayer covering for that time...that it would indeed be a time of rest, healing (I really need my tonsils to heal because they are swollen, and I do not want to have tonsil surgery), and spiritual-strengthening. I believe my swollen tonsils are connected more to being exhausted and to the spiritual bondage I am trying to walk out of - it is truly a fight for me to rest. Please pray also that my time would be protected from anything and anyone that would take away from my rest for the next three months. It might sound strange for an almost 23 year-old to be burnt out, but that indicates just how busy and stressful my life has been for a number years.
Let me know if you have any insight for me in the area of resting. I hope this answers any questions you may have due to all the changes in my plans. I would love to hear from you!

The Fast - How to Become Spiritual People

School this semester has been going well! On Jan 29, I spoke to my entire school at a chapel service about the subject of "fasting." At the close of the service, I invited my school to join me in a three-day fast this coming week. Over half the campus signed up to join me in fasting! We ended the fast together with a service in my school’s chapel and chicken salad. We encountered spiritual opposition during that time with almost the whole campus coming down with a flu bug, death of close friends/family, and spiritual discouragement, but we pressed through to the end. God brought forth several promises of revival during that time. Particularly, God confirmed a word from Acts 2, which tells of the Day of Pentecost. We know that God will pour out His Spirit on this campus and that God will be restoring our sense of community unto true devotion: “They devoted themselves to…teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done…” (Acts 2:42-43)

Evangelism

The look on a child’s face who has just pulled on someone’s hair or stolen a pretzel from a classmate or lied about stuffing toys in a closet instead of carefully putting each where it belongs is a telltale sign of our common humanity. Children instinctively know from an early age what right and wrong behavior is. Extrapolate this innate knowledge a few years further, and there is similar evidence that humans of all ages are perfectly aware of how their overt and closeted beliefs and behaviors each fall into two categories: right and wrong. Biblically this concept is also known as righteousness and unrighteousness. We seem to understand ourselves as either being right with God, the universe, and everything created or terribly wrong with all of the above. We all share the common and fundamental knowledge that we must embrace our humanity as a blessing and a curse because we begin life with a basic knowledge of the truth about God but quickly fall away from that knowledge into human foolishness.

Paul explains the blessing and curse of being human in the first chapter of Romans. He writes that “since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse” (1:21, italics mine). He writes further that “although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and…. exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator” (1:22,25). Gradually, for those hardened to, fallen from, or unexposed to the sacrifice of Jesus, salvation from sin, promise of new life, and discipline of following Jesus, the truth with which they began life – the truth about God and His laws – is replaced by compromise against God and against their soul. So we are all without excuse.

It is this common humanity with which the would-be evangelist is confronted. We grapple with people’s stubborn resistance to truth. This is the truth which people already know even when that truth is buried beneath years of mind-warping sin. The job, then, of the evangelist is to utilize two main tools: conviction and compassion.

The Apostle Paul, evangelist to the Gentiles, provides an excellent demonstration of the type of conviction of which I speak. The historian Luke records in the book of Acts a time when Paul walked into Athens to find a city full of idols. He made his way to Mars Hill and to the Areopagus, a gathering of the philosophical elite of the city, to convict the Athenians of their common humanity. He begins his poetic speech by saying:

Men of Athens! I see that in every way you are very religious. For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: TO AN UNKNOWN GOD. Now what you worship as something unknown I am going to proclaim to you. (Acts 17 22,23, italics mine)

With adept perception, Paul compliments the Athenians on their interest in religious elements and subjects. He acknowledges that he and the Athenians share a common knowledge and interest in all things divine. Yet, for all of their statues and philosophies, they do not know the true God. He points out how they make themselves busy worshipping something they do not know. Then, fully inspired by and filled with the Holy Spirit, Paul brings home the punch line. He promises a revelation of the full-truth that will illuminate all the tainted half-truths of which they were already painfully aware. He describes the one, true God with the following:

The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring. (Romans 17:24-28, italics mine)

Paul convicts them of their historic opportunity to reach out for God, no longer allowing the Athenians to lay claim to ignorance or confusion with his concise description of God’s intentional design and placement of each human being on the earth. Paul’s idea echoes a much earlier writing by an ancient Hebrew poet who wrote, “He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end….God does it so that men will revere him” (Ecclesiastes 3:11b,14b). Truly, no person is without excuse before God. God’s spiritual presence in this earth is always working to confront and convict people everywhere of that deep something they already know about God and his laws. Paul left the Athenians with one alternative to their groping for God: repentance. He finishes his speech by saying, “In the past God overlooked such ignorance, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent” (Acts 17:30). A few notable members of the Areopagus decided in that moment to repent and believe.

The Holy Spirit’s conviction comes from such an otherworldly place, a pure and heavenly place, that un-believers (ie: people who once believed; I reject the notion of the non-believer, since this implies absolutely no knowledge of God and his laws) cannot help but alter their behavior around the in-dwelt believer. It is one thing to have convictions about sharing the gospel, but it is quite another thing to be so powerfully in-dwelt by the Holy Spirit that the Spirit of God walks into all of life’s situations with you and performs the work of loosing and convicting the hearts of the lost for you. I experience this phenomenon of conviction most often in the workplace. When I worked as a barista at a coffee shop in my hometown, my co-workers would often carry on hushed conversations in the back room. The hushed tones and trembling excitement in their voices always signaled to me that they were talking about one of three things: sex, drugs, or cussing someone out. I would purposefully walk to the back room just to see ‘what-up,’ and immediately those conversations would halt. Out of curiosity, I began asking my co-workers why they would stop their conversations around me. I relay their unanimous response to illustrate the power of Holy Spirit’s conviction. Their unanimous response was always something like, “You are too pure. I know I won’t offend you, but I don’t want to corrupt you.” My response was usually something like, “Oh yeah, what makes you think I am pure or that your conversation could corrupt me?” Again, people innately know right from wrong, even if they claim that wrong is right. This was clear around my co-workers. The righteous presence of the Holy Spirit in me was enough to convict their hearts of their sin. It was not so much that I was “pure” or even somehow better at being human than them. They were simply reminded by me everyday that all was not right with their state of common humanity. They knew the truth but did not live by it. So how does the convicting work of evangelism move people towards repentance and belief?

The prophet Isaiah filled his book with acute descriptions of the Israelites’ failings in their relationship with God. They of all people understood the plight of knowing God’s truth and being seemingly incapable of living by it. Amidst this atmosphere of foolish living, Isaiah prophesied to them a great hope and promise from God. He wrote that if they turn from their selfish and worldly habits to a true compassion for all people, that their “righteousness will go before [them], and the glory of the LORD will be [their] rear guard” (Isaiah 58:8b). Essentially, the going before and behind of the Lord’s righteousness and glory works like the Holy Spirit conviction of the New Testament, but Isaiah also described in detail what their compassion should look like in the two preceding verses. He wrote the following as a direct oracle from God:

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share our food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter— when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?” (Isaiah 58:6,7)

This is the compassion of evangelism. When people are convicted of their own tragic displacement within God’s good order, they do not go looking for a good beating. The conviction of the Holy Spirit causes them to examine the loneliness of their hearts and souls. They realize how wrong they are. They become broken.

It may be that the Holy Spirit uses you to speak to them in their brokenness, but such speech must be compassionate and not harshly judgmental. The compassionate speaker identifies him/herself as having been commonly human too and compassionately offers the hope of being lifted up out of pain, hurt, and despair by a God that seeks people out of His love for them and who longs to end injustice, oppression, hunger, poverty, and the nakedness of His creations that strayed from Him.

However, the Holy Spirit may use you to perform compassionate acts in order to speak louder than words to hearts of the broken. This requires self-sacrifice and the discomfort of risking all of your heart and life to save a life. So you sell everything you have to move to a foreign location in order to teach English or open an unassuming coffee shop or an orphanage to be with broken people and offer them the hope that is found in Jesus Christ. Or you stay where you are at a job or school you love or hate in order to continue having short lunch-time conversations with your co-worker who is recently divorced and likes to tell you all the gory details. We offer our lives as “living sacrifices” (Romans 12:2) as our only act of gratitude to the God who makes Himself known to all people through the most convicting and compassionate man to walk the earth, His son Jesus the Messiah. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes on Him will not perish but acquire everlasting life” (I John 3:16).

The work of evangelism uses the tools of conviction and compassion to turn the broken back to the truth about life and God, to a lifestyle of glorifying and thanking God for sending his Son. These two tools issue from the Holy Spirit’s presence in the life of the evangelist. Such in-dwelling is my desire. Come Holy Spirit, come.

O is for Observation (this is tedious but gives you an idea of the kinds of observations noted for further study)

Actually, this project and these observations represent a fraction of the readings and observations I normally make. Other projects have involved observations in of Genesis 1-13; Exodus 19-24/Deuteronomy 4,5 and 28-32/Leviticus 26 (this one slew of observations was 31 pages long, if that gives you an idea); and Luke 1-15. The Psalm project was considerably easier than all of the above.

Kid Christmas

Practicum

Professor Tremper

12 November 2007

IBP # 3: Psalm Project – Psalm 118

I. Observations

A. Theme – God’s love endures forever (1)

B. Key Words – faithful, love, endures, forever, refuge, surrounded, thanks (1)

C. Laws of Composition – figurative language – metaphor, simile, repetition, rhyme of thought, personification, pleonasm, apostrophe, enveloping, refrain (2)

D. Type of Psalm – Thanksgiving [for victory] (2)

E. Observations of Psalm 118

1. Verses 1-4

a. Repeats the same refrain “His faithful love endures forever,” yet calls for this refrain from Israel, house of Aaron, and those who fear the Lord (2)

1) What is it about God’s “faithful love” that is forever enduring?

2) How does this endure forever?

3) Why is this a key characteristic of God in this Psalm?

4) Who is the speaker?

5) Why does the speaker ask for a repetition of the refrain from Israel, house of Aaron, and those who fear the Lord?

6) What does “those who fear the Lord” mean? – synecdoche?

b. The repetition makes a bold statement of rejoicing(2)

c. Forms part of the “envelope” for the entire Psalm with the refrain (2)

d. This stanza states the purpose of the psalm – to give thanks (4)

2. Verses 5-7

a. Recounts the moment of distress (2)

b. Uses a rhetorical question – “What can man do to me?” (2)

c. Uses “a spacious place” as a figure – what does this mean? And is it like a circumlocution? (3)

d. Repeats “I” like a pleonasm (3)

e. Why is God equated to a “helper”? (4)

3. Verses 8, 9

a. These verses use antithetic parallelism by making a statement about trusting God and then comparing God to men/nobles (3)

b. Lays out a spiritual principal about the blessing of trusting God (3)

c. Repeats “It is better” and “take refuge in the Lord” as a kind of emphatic repetition (epanadiplosis or epizeuxis) (3)

d. Why would someone trust nobles and man? (4)

4. Verses 10-14

a. What are “the nations”? – metonymy – why so many enemies? (3)

b. What is “the name of the Lord”? – metonymy (3)

c. Uses simile (like bees, fire) – how does this language affect the image of the enemy? – why use fire and bees? (3)

d. Uses metaphorical language to describe God – strength, song, salvation – how does this work? – what do these qualities confirm about God’s character? – why are these qualities important for victory in battle? (3)

e. Repeats the same phraseology (“in the name of the Lord,” “they surrounded me”) for emphasis – epanadiplosis – why is there such repetition of phrases? – Is this a refrain technique? (3)

f. Action verbs repeated (destroyed, extinguished, surrounded, pushed, helped) – what does this do to the tension of the stanza? (3)

g. Who is “You” in verse 13? – “You pushed me hard to make me fall” (3)

h. Why is the “name of the Lord” required alongside victorious action? (3)

i. This is a description of a battle, but it never says “battle” explicitly – Why? (3)

j. Is God working with, alongside, in, through, or for the speaker? – why would God work against the speaker’s enemies? (4)

5. Verses 15-18

a. “Tents of the righteous” – who are “the righteous”? – Is this a synecdoche? (2)

b. Personification of God – “The Lord’s right hand” – also repeats this description three times exuberantly (3)

c. Why the “right hand” and not the left? (3)

d. Why the “hand” and not the foot? (3)

e. “The Lord’s right hand strikes with power!” frames “The Lord’s right hand is raised!” – these three lines form a refrain or an epanadiplosis within the stanza (3)

f. Verse 17 repeats “I” and uses “but” to show contrast between the first “I” and the second “I” (3)

g. Why does this stanza seem to infer that the speaker was close to death as a result of disobedience (that he/she needed disciplining)? (3)

h. Why would God want to kill the speaker? Is this hyperbole? (3)

i. Why does the speaker want to “proclaim what the Lord has done”? – does this contradict what others might do in the same situation? (4)

6. Verses 19-24

a. To who is “open” a command in verse 19? (3)

b. What/where are the “gates of righteousness”? – circumlocution – why should the speaker enter through them? – is this necessary to give thanks to God? (3)

c. Repeats “You” – pleonasm – why the emphasis of You rather than a name for God? (3)

d. Why is the speaker giving thanks? (3)

e. Uses metaphorical language to describe God (“become my salvation”) (3)

f. Who is the “stone” and “cornerstone”? – metaphor – why is this language being used? (3)

g. In verse 23, what is “This” and “it” that came from the Lord and is wonderful? (3)

h. What does “This is the day that the Lord has made” mean? – what is the day for? – is it different from other days? (synecdoche) (3)

i. Who are the people included in “us” in verse 24? (3)

j. Why do “the righteous” enter the “gates of righteousness”? – why does the gate belong to “the Lord”? – what does God owning the gate indicate about His nature? (4)

k. What was the speaker’s question or call that the Lord would have “answered”? (5)

l. Does the stone and cornerstone allude to Christ? (5)

m. Why were the gates closed? (5)

7. Verses 25-29

a. Who are the “us” in verse 25? (3)

b. What are they being saved from? – does this refer back to the second stanza? (3)

c. Why is the one blessed “who comes in the name of the Lord”? (3)

d. Why do the “we” from verse 26 bless people from “the house of the Lord”? – what is “the house of the Lord”? (3)

e. Why has God given “light”? (3)

f. Why is there a sacrifice being offered? (3)

g. Verse 28 contains a synonymous parallelism – why is the phrase “You are my God” emphasized? – what does using the possessive “my” do to the tone of the phrase? – what does this phrase demonstrate about God’s personal qualities? (3)

h. The psalm ends how it begins with “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His faithful love endures forever,” completing the envelope (frame) begun in the first lines of the psalm – why does the speaker frame the psalm this way? – what does it emphasize? (3)

i. What kind of “success” is being asked for? (5)

j. What are “the horns of the altar”? (5)

k. Does the speaker represent more than just him/herself at times, like representing the people as a whole? (synecdoche) (5)

F. Basic Outline – Psalm 118

1. The purpose of the Psalm (1-4)

a. Give thanks

b. People give thanks

2. The situation that invokes thankfulness (5-7)

a. A call of distress

b. The rescue

3. A principle of trust (8, 9)

a. God is trustworthy

b. Humans are not trustworthy

4. A description of the battle (10-14)

a. The overwhelming position of the enemy

b. The victory of partnership between God and speaker

5. A declaration of God’s justice (15-18)

a. God’s right hand is praised by those in the tents of righteousness

b. The speaker is thankful for God’s mercy

6. Entering into a place of righteousness and praise (19-24)

a. The speaker enters a good place (in life)

b. The speaker describes the blessing of a secure position

7. Final requests of and blessings to God (25-29)

a. A request for continued success

b. A sacrifice of praise

I is for Interpretation of Genre

I. Formal Essay

The Nature of Biblical Poetry: the Challenges Created by the Ancient Poet

Poetry is a literary form dating as far back as any other kind of literature, if not the farthest, because of the way in which poetic verses are easily called to memory. Ancient Biblical poetry presents a number of difficulties to modern readers because the original poets had a specific goal in mind that was couched within their particular historical situation. How does Biblical poetry challenge the modern reader? In general, Biblical poetry uses figures of speech and other language structures that were specific to its time and context and that are not often obvious in the present day. Specifically, as is the focus of this essay, the Psalms present further poetic challenges through their many purposes and forms. The original goal, the several different types, and the language of the Psalms are the three main barriers to understanding the vast and wonderful content of the Psalms.

The original goal of the Psalms is buried beneath years of history, presenting a challenge to modern readers when they try to understand the purpose of these ancient song-poems. Psalms were originally meant to be heard in the context of a worshipful conversation with God, and each psalm “served the crucial function of making connection between the worshiper and God” (Fee 210). Biblical Psalms were usually “sung in worship at the temple” and were highly valued by the Israelites as well as other ruling nations (Klein 354). As such, the Psalms, like most poetry, are individual and independent from each other; each psalm is “its own literary context” (Klein 358). This means that each psalm does not depend upon any other psalm for the meaning of its context, but this does not separate the psalm from a certain sense of historical context (358). Again, this historical context would normally place the psalm as an element of temple worship. The historical context being such, the modern reader of psalms can use the psalms as “a guide to worship,” a demonstration of honest dialogue with God, and a reminder of the positive benefit of “reflection and meditation on things that God has done for us” (Fee 223). However, the modern reader is also challenged not to “overexegete” the psalms (207). The psalms are “addressed to the mind through the heart” (207), so the interpretation of a psalm should lead to an emotional effect rather than a purely mental effect. Using the Psalms as a tool to allow emotions to flow to God is perhaps the best way to understand the original goal of the psalmist.

Another challenge to readers is the challenge of understanding the original purpose behind each psalm. The historical function of the biblical Psalms was to make a connection between people as they express their emotions to God as He listens. However, as much as there is a wide array of emotion to be expressed, so too are there many genre of psalms found within the Biblical collection. Understanding the genre of a psalm better aids the reader in understanding the emotional and worshipful goal of the original author. There are several different types of Psalms: lament, thanksgiving, hymns of praise, salvation-history, celebration, affirmation, wisdom, songs of trust, and imprecatory (Fee 212-214, 220). Identifying what type of psalm is being read then allows the reader to read the poetic language of the poem in light of its specific function. For example, a lament expresses deep sorrow and distress regarding the true-to-life experience of the author. Knowing that a psalm is a lament will aid the reader in understanding the type of emotional poetic language being used.

The Psalms employ figurative language from an ancient time where useful analogies and other relationships between words may be lost to modern readers. Common to all psalms is a use of metaphor and simile. Both figures of speech make comparisons between two essentially different things in order to add color or to infer a new meaning based upon the juxtaposed relationship. When interpreting ancient metaphors and similes, the savvy interpreter should try to “listen” for the original “intent” of the language (Fee 208). Likewise, when hyperbole, asyndeton, synecdoche, repetition, or personification confront the reader, identifying the genre of each individual psalm as well as the original goal of the poet will help flesh out the possible meanings of figurative language (Tremper 34-36). Having a firm understanding of figurative language is essential to understanding the Psalms since poetic language is not usually literal in any way.

Many challenges face both the casual reader and the experienced Bible scholar when interpreting psalms. The distance of time between the ancient days and modern days makes understanding Biblical psalms difficult for three reasons: the original goal, the genre, and the figurative language all stand as barriers to proper hermeneutics. The way to overcome these challenges is to carefully reconstruct the original intent of the psalm as well as the social environment in which it was read. With this understanding, describing the psalm in terms of its genre helps the informed reader gain valuable insight into the many figures of speech found therein. The Psalms are challenging but not impossible. The most important thing to remember about interpreting the Psalms is to focus upon the emotional impact of the psalm and to not use the psalm in a setting much different than its original setting of worshipful connection with God.